Monday, November 21, 2005

Concern for a friend

I'm still awaiting news of a dear friend who is looking for her two year old son.

She had a business trip come up and had offered her ex-husband the opportunity of "right of first refusal" to baby-sit. He refused so she made other arrangements for her son. She had some 'off' feelings about her ex last week. He was acting weird and off-center. He kept getting confused when he was going to get to see their son and when she was going to be back from her trip. When she talked to me about it, I raised concerns that it sounded like he was 'up to trouble'. But she felt comfortable with the alternative care she had arranged for.

Her ex picked her son up this weekend from the alternative arrangements that she had made, but didn't contact her to let her know that he was going to do this. He called the day care center to tell them that the child wouldn't be coming in today - that he was staying home with him. But, he isn't at his apartment. He isn't answering his phone, his cell phone, nor his work phone. He isn't at his mother's nor his father's home.

He wasn't supposed to have the child this weekend, he turned down the opportunity to take him when it was given to him, he then took him anyway without telling the boy's mother that he was going to do so... and now cannot be located. And mom is in Illinois and unable to do anything. I cannot imagine how horrible this must be!

Ideally this will turn out to be a series of misunderstandings and miscommunications, but the possibilities of other results is too mind-numbingly scary to even consider. NO mother should ever have to doubt for the location and safety of her two year old like this - EVER!

I hope to h*ll she gets him back quickly, and fights like h*ll to restrict her ex's rights to unsupervised visitations so that she never has to go through this ever again.

Updated:

Her ex phoned her on Monday night so she could talk to their son... and couldn't understand why she was concerned - after all, he'd told the sitter that he was taking the boy, wasn't that enough? Grrr.... he plays headgames, and drives her nuts. I am glad the little one is safe, and that's what matters most - but ugh, it's still extremely frustrating to watch him play with her emotions like this.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

perhaps it is your friend that is playing head games. Are you sure she isn't lying to you to get your sympathies? Her/your story does not make sense. Why would he refuse and then pick the child up if it was not his weekend? Why would he refuse and then plot to hide the child? Sounds like that would take a lot of energy. And then when you find out there was a logical explanation she/you dump on him again for not telling her sonner. The time line seems suspiciously in error here. You should really check the facts yourself before you put yourself at risk in a public forum. -sign me someone that got used by a manipulative friend and burned in the process -