Thursday, June 29, 2006
She has been struggling for weeks with a prolapsed bladder. She kept telling me her bladder had fallen out - and me being a geek had to figure it all out. My memories of biology class aren't that great, but I'm pretty sure that a bladder can't just fall out.
But, as far as I get it... the walls of the vagina can weaken (and with her hysterectomy - no uterus in between)... and the pressure from the bladder can push the vagina a little inside out - and out of the body. Hence, the tissue that was exposed was an inner wall of the vagina because of a fallen bladder.
She's been in terrible pain - and every time she turns around having to "tuck" things back in.... so I'm glad the surgery is over and done with and that she didn't get an infection in the meantime.
They put in a "net" to keep the bladder up and added some "reinforcement" so things stay in place... interesting enough. I keep thinking of the net like some sort of hammock - and the geek in me now wants to know - what the net is attached to - I haven't asked, but I might have to google it a bit.... LOL
She's hoping to go home tonight, so we'll see ....
A friend from QCI had called me -- to discuss things... which meant that someone at QCI told her that I was considering the full-time position. She brought up the concern that I have that this department is struggling... but with a permanent position - they are really good about "finding new homes" for FTE....
There's also a lot of stress & issues with management - between our group and the requirement managers group... but to be honest, if I do my job well and cya the way I know only too well how to do, I'll be fine....
And then there's the whole permanent vs. temporary thing.... which now that I've given up hope of moving to Eastern Iowa for the short term isn't an issue anymore for me.
The money is only a slight raise over what I am making now, but I'd be eligble for bonuses and a raise next year. I'd be due for a better raise in a few months if I stay at QCI... so that is something to think about, but I don't know that it's a deal breaker.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I met Jeremy two months after leaving my second husband - the summer of 1999 - he's a bit younger than I, and somewhat immature. The night we met, I made him PROMISE me that he was afraid of commitment and only wanted to date - have sex and have fun - but NOT turn it into something more serious than that. He worked with Alliant Energy with tuning and maintaining the turbines - he had been trained in the Navy to work with nuclear turbines and was able to turn that into a good career with Alliant Energy even though they use deisel turbines.
We dated/brokeup/dated again for about six months. During that time I would get angry because he'd do something dumb, tell him off, tell him it's over, he'd apologize, and I'd take him back... because he never really did anything mean hearted - just stupid shit - like telling me to drive to meet him and taking off, stopping by at 4 am for a booty call, stuff like that. Or he'd admit to hitting on another woman and getting turned down - which would make me think he couldn't be faithful (i.e., lack of opportunity doesn't excuse the fact that he thought about it... or wanted to do it)!
But - a very cute, sexy, guy with a body that would make any statue jealous, and the sex... the sex was literally the best I've ever, ever, ever had.... i.e., like an hour-long orgasm or multiple orgasms that would feel like they were never ending... it was VERY, VERY good sex.
He would get mad at me too - sometimes, over some stupid thing - and it was usually things that were making him angry with himself because he would not like to admit how much he wanted to be with me.
One night at the bar, we were sitting at the bar off from the rest of the group we were out with - and he asked me to marry him... At this point, my divorce was about two weeks old... I thought he was joking and laughed at him. After fifteen minutes of trying to convince me he was serious - the bar tender came over and told me that he thought Jeremy meant it. So, basically, it was the bartender that convinced me that my boyfriend was asking me to marry him. I refused (remember the unfaithful potential), and tried to convince him that living together would be a better choice if ANYTHING... i.e., if he could prove faithfulness then I could at least consider living together. Within two weeks of his proposal he literally disappeared out of my life. At that exact same time I changed my phone number to an unlisted number because Fred - Big A's father was getting involved with Big A again, and I wanted a little bit of buffer between us - like he would have my mother's number but not a direct line to Big A when I wouldn't necessarily be home (I was envisioning collect calls from prison in California kind of issues).
I didn't hear from Jeremy for a full year... he had been offered an opportunity to go to Seattle for a year for management training and the company would have paid to support him and his wife, but not a live-in girlfriend - hence the marriage proposal and the turn down on living together... he didn't tell me this though - and truth is, I probably wouldn't have dropped everything to move to Seattle with him. But, he'd been home for a few days and had driven all his friends nuts with talking about how he wished he knew how to find me and how he regretted not being able to reach me during this year... until they agreed to drive him two hours to my house "in case I still lived there". Which at that time, I did... but when he said he'd been offered management of a facility in Utah, I couldn't just drop everything and move me and Big A to Utah to follow a guy I hadn't seen in over a year - could I? I mean, really, he hadn't kept in touch at all, I didn't know where he'd been or what he'd been doing. So I said no to moving to Utah... and I've never seen him since.
BTW - for timing? The last time I saw Jeremy was two weeks before I met Phil's brother Tim.... my next "boyfriend" if you can call our relationship via email that.
I will be SO glad when this is all finished - although to be honest, it often feels like we'll never get it finished. ah well....
JR the banker from the south is wanting to go out again... I told him I was concerned about the distance and driving down there all the time - he told me that being I'm in the middle of the moving process to not worry about it and it'll work out - we'll see.... I'm not too eager to make plans for this weekend with him - so my heart isn't in it.
As for that heart of mine - I started thinking about an ex-beau last weekend - oh, but for a second chance to try to work things out with Jeremy... I've lost track of him, last I'd heard he was moving to Utah and I wouldn't drop everything and move with him.... I still couldn't - but oh, for a couple of hours in his arms again... that would be awesome - wassum... lol
Well, onward with my call
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
She did seem concerned and asked if Big A is my primary care giver this summer, but I said no, that he's just a back up if all other sitters fall through. I have full-time day care, a backup when they can't watch him... and that only if the two of them fall through, that's when I turn to Big A. I mentioned our plan to move next month - and that I have already found a day care center - and that my friend Stefanie would be my back up day care provider.... just in case. She seemed much more relaxed after that and joked around with me about "encouraging" my eldest to find work since he isn't ready for school.
I knew it'd probably turn out ok - but it was still a bit stressfull knowing that it was coming... so I'm relieved that it went well and it's over already.
Should I leave an almost 3 yr old alone in the backyard without supervision? NO! I know that... but he was doing so well playing on his own and checking back in every 15 minutes or so... and I could look out and see him playing so happily - it seemed somewhat harmless.
Only - he since has figured out how to get out of the fenced yard. Ooops! There has probably been four or five times where Big A or I have managed to forget to lock the lock at the top of the door - and Alex has escaped to the yard. He's good about staying out of the street - but still.... bad news!!!!
So, last week, when I was working late in the afternoon on my laptop and didn't realize Little A had snuck out yet again on me - one of my neighbor's called the police. I felt horrible. I do not feel angry in any way whatsoever.... if I had seen another child playing at that age in the front yard all alone - I too would have called.
Now, however, Big A was babysitting last night while I was working late at the office - and was in the basement... Little A snuck upstairs (and then outside).... Yikes!!!! and the police were called again. This time they are filing a request with DHS to determine if there's a case for child neglect. Do I blame them? No... do I think Big A was neglecting Little A? Big Time! Can I blame him though? No... it's happened to me as well. Do I want to go through the DHS process? Not really - but then again, hopefully, they'll see that he's really a thriving, curious toddler who just has a busy mom who messed up and will make sure it doesn't happen again.
So, two things about moving... 1) hopefully they'll let me install a chain lock on the door so Little A can't escape the apartment.... and 2) daycare centers are open until 6pm and I won't need to rely on Big A as often to sit... because his heart really isn't into it.
Friday, June 16, 2006
I can't breath, I'm losing my voice, I'm exhausted (even more than usual) and I feel like sh*t! I know 95% of it is just a cold - but there's more.
And I know it's because I've been sick recently and with this overtime - my body just isn't coping well - but that doesn't make me feel any better.
All my aches & pains that were letting up in the last few months are back with a vengeance, so I'm back on my pain killers - which I hate. I've had some pretty serious dizzy spells again - so I've tripled my intake of my anti-dizzy meds.. and now my right side of my face is numb. I've got conference calls all day long, but I'm betting that if I was as smart as I think I am, I should get a doctor appointment fitted in instead. I HATE the thought of not being well beyond just a cold. I just got over most of it! I climbed a half-flight of stairs and had to stop half-way up to catch my breath - that's like five steps! WTF?
Oh, and while I'm being a whiney little brat - remember my problem two months ago where something was very late - well now I'm going to bitch about the opposite. Ever since I was late - my cycles are now running every 3 weeks instead of 4. Which means I've only got two weeks between periods - last time this happened, they had to put me on birth control pills to "fix" it because without them I was becoming anemic. Now that that's not an option... I'm not sure what they'll want to do. I know my doctor back in Newton would jump to a hysterectomy - he was already suggesting it last year when I was on coumadin, but I was able to talk him into a "wait and see" attitude. But I think he was a bit too eager... we'll see.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Of course, I would manage to catch a cold now.... but that's ok... I'll take my nyquil at night and sleep really well - and fumble through my days all dazy with my cold meds... and apologize each time I have to ask someone to repeat things three times, as sometimes that's how long it takes to get through the fog.
No word on the job front, but I figured it'd be a week or two anyway before I heard back.
I'm planning on finding a storage unit this week (ok, it's been on the task list for a while, but I've been terrible about not getting to the right places at the right time)!!! But, I'm taking off work a half hour early today (will work from home this evening to make it up and keep my overtime from disappearing!!!). And Lord, I hope I can finally get this all figured out.
Alex had a runny nose - but I think it was just allergies for him. So I've got him back on benedryl... except now he's not sleeping. Go figure... looks like I'm going to have a second night owl boy!
I suppose I should get back to work, just had to take a bit of a break form looking at my database which I've been working on since 9 am!
Monday, June 12, 2006
On Saturday, I found a nice apartment in a nice complex - 2 bedroom, 2 bath (Big A can share a bedroom with little A - it's a nice way to make things a little less comfortable. It's going to cut a lot of expenses - they pay everything except electricity... and the rent is about $100 less a month than my house payment. BUT, it means going to the laundramat again - ugh!!!
Oh, well, my washer and dryer are in EXCELLENT condition and I should be able to store them for a few years until I get everything back in order.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Work has been insanely busy. I've been participating in 10-hr working sessions going through the definitions/meanings/verification of 1500 data items.... and then coming home and spending like three to four hours doing database/spreadsheet mass updates to speed things up during our sessions... btw "participating" is unofficially running the sessions and directing the flow of the discussion since I've been documenting all the updates/issues/action items. And being able to then re-sort/re-filter to keep us working on the priorities. So much for sneaking out early any day this week. The good news is that those who are responsible (not necessarily those that are angry because their priorities aren't ours) are being very grateful for all the work I'm doing. We'll see if that carries any weight... ?
AND now Little A who's allergies have kicked up and I started him on Benadryl - has decided to become a night owl and stay awake until past midnight every night. So, I'm getting a little burned out. So much for giving myself a lot of tasks for this weekend. I'm planning on doing one or two things and crashing on the couch for the remainder of the weekend.
Except perhaps a quick trip to Oskaloosa to go out with Mr R - or maybe I should nickname him JR since those are his initials and it's more fun than Mr R - what do you think?? Anyway, he wants to go out again this weekend (well, actually he hinted at during the week too) - but I knew this week wasn't going to work well for that.
Monday, June 05, 2006
I've got the list of places that I'd consider moving into.... but am going to try to contact a property management company first, in case I might be able to rent a town house - I really, really would love to have a place for washer/dryer hoook ups so I don't have to do the laundramat then!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
But, I'm still feeling a bit down about the fact that I really do need to NOT buy a house in the next few months but rent some a place and get my bills and credit issues all cleared up. I know it's the right thing to do, I know that I can find a nice apartment in a decent area for less than my current house payment... I know that as far as my credit is concerned it's all for the best.
Friday, June 02, 2006
I'll post a link to his picture later - he's young.... 32. Which is ONLY 8 years younger than I, but it's enough for him to tease me about being older. So, I've had to lay down the law that once we start dating, he's not going to be allowed to call me "his old lady". He's a VP at a bank in Oscaloosa... and in digging into past history - the only things that show up is 1 ticket for not "maintaining" seat belts (?) from the 90's and his divorce. He doesn't even have a single speeding ticket on his record. I've made him swear that he's not going to break up with me because I'm too far a drive ... lol!
Dinner on Saturday will give me a nice break from all the hectic-ness in my life! (I hope).
As for the third option of sub-contracting through another company - it's out, as I have a non-compete clause in my employment contract. BUT, if the terms of the job change enough, then that means that I could possibly ask for a new job title - which could mean a renogiation of my existing contract - which could mean more money for QCI & myself. But, simpler yet - is getting the job offer for $80k. So, we wait and see.
I'll let you know more when I know more.
1. Do you use an alarm clock to wake up? Yes, actually 2
2. What time does your alarm go off? 6:00 and 6:20
3. What sound does it make? radio on the first, beep beep beep - on the second
4. Do you hit the snooze button? How many times? REPEATEDLY - over and over again!
5. If you have a partner, do they have a separate alarm? n/a
6. Does your partner get up at the same time, earlier or later? n/a.
7. Is your clock set ahead? If so, by how much? yes, by half an hour - although it really doesn't help
8. What's the first thing you do when you get up? pee, contacts, teeth...
9. Do you eat breakfast? If so, what? granola or special k bars in the car on the way to work with my Pepsi
10. How long does it take you to get ready? If I shower the night before 15 minutes - otherwise 30
11. On the weekends, what time do you get up? as late as Little A will let me - which is usually about 8
12. Do you lounge or do you jump into action? leap into action - unless all those snooze button hits count as lounging
13. In an ideal world, what time would you get up? 8:30
14. How many hours of sleep do you typically get? 8 to 9
15. How many hours of sleep do you want to get? at least 9 right now - wish I wasn't so tired all the time so I could say 8
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Second piece of good news - I'm in the top two for the BA level 4 job... which is going to be approx $80k per year.
Third piece of maybe good news - if that doesn't pan out... we're currently helping with designing a restructuring for providing additional support and more "focused" support to our technology partners... and my manager is all set to allow us to "renegoatiate" and end our existing contracts to set up new ones -- with at least a 100% raise. 100% !!!! that's double... or maybe even more. Now, there's no guarantee at all about this - and they'd obviously would rather hire me direct for $80k instead of paying a contractor six figures... but the money is there, the need is there - and there's only two of us capable of the position - and one of them just interviewed for a different position. Which if he gets it - leaves me alone... (oh, and he didn't apply for the BA job).
So, here we are... Hmmm.... guess moving to Cedar Rapids is completely out of the question after all!