Thursday, August 31, 2006

Walgreens trip last night

OK - so "a" has been terribly sick and we were running low on some necessities. Since I needed diapers, wipes and more pedialite and Walgreens were having great half/price or free specials, we ventured out to stock up. Oh, and did I mention - I'm now sick too. Uggh

Anyway -

Here's the low down on my deals.

Oxy Carpet Cleaner pod - on sale for $3.99 w/ 2.00 rebate (and the mean lady at the counter wouldn't take my internet coupon for $1.00 off.. so I got it for 1.99 instead of .99 cents.

Two packs of envelopes for mailing off my eBay sales at $1.98. They had more mailing supplies at .99 each - but I was fully stocked up on everything else.

Kotax Tampons/Pads 2 for $10.00 - with a $10.00 rebate - so I got those free. Again, she wouldn't take my internet coupon - other wise I would have gotten $2.00 off and spent $8.00 to get the $10.00 rebate.

Proctor & Gamble Items: I got Nice & Easy Hair color (remember my big change... won't happen this weekend, but I've picked out the color now), Olay Facial product, and Tampax Tampons for $21.00 with a $10.00 rebate - so I paid $11.00 or half off on those. Too bad I didn't have more coupons for that stuff. I missed one in the flyer because I didn't take the time I usually did since I didn't feel well, and would have gotten $2.00 off if I'd been paying more attention.

Nice & Easy Color Glaze - $8.99 with full rebate - so it was free.

Heinz Catsup & Miracle Whip - 2 for $5.00 instead of $3.50 each - so I saved $2.00 there.

Pampers Wipes - only saved $.75 off of $3.99 as I only had a coupon - but what can I say - I was out.

Bathroom Tissue - on sale $3.00 each - with a buy 2 get $1.00 rebate. So instead of $3.50 each, I paid $5.00 for two.

Printer paper (again, completely out) - 3 packs for $10.00 - only saved $2.00 - but again, I was out.

Windex wipes $3.79 - $1.00 rebate (and again - I wasn't out, but close to it thanks to the repeated attempts to recreate the masterpiece with various oily substances on our hands)

Tylenol for Children - buy 2 get $1.00 rebate - again, we were out.

Pledge Duster - $4.59 - again - mean ol' lady wouldn't take my $2.00 off internet coupon... so I only got a $1.00 rebate instead of getting it for $1.59, it's $3.59. I would have put it back, only my mom raves about hers so I thought I'd try it.

Huggies Diapers - 3 packs for $10.99 each with two coupons for $1.50 off each... wish I'd had a 3rd coupon. $15.00 rebate on this one. So I ended up paying $5.00 per pack of Huggies - which is an AWESOME price.

Six different toys for "a" that he probably didn't need, but he selected two and I saw that it was buy two get one free... so I've put away three for a future rainy day and got him what he wanted plus an extra one.

And my steal? 4 12-packs of Pepsi for $10.00 - with a $10.00 rebate - so they were free!!!!

Now, I still had to buy a couple of different types of other medicine and a Storage tote for the daycare... plus the pedialite so he doesn't get dehydrated.

But over all... the total rang up to $181.45 - I saved $17.27 between sale prices and coupons (which would have been over $20 if she'd taken all of them - bummer!). Plus the rebates total to $64.00 - only because I agree to let them give it to me on a Walgreens Gift card - they add an additional 10% - so I'm getting $70.40 back.

Total Savings $87.70... which runs just under 50% - but would have been better if I'd been feeling better and more prepared. So, all in all, a pretty good shopping trip.

Oh - and I almost forgot - I got over $5.00 in diapers and wipes coupons printed out with my receipt that while they say redeem at Walgreens... also say that they are manufacturers coupons, and I've found that everybody but Walmart tends to take those... so more savings ahead next time those go on sale.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

"A" moving out this weekend

The cable was turned off finally day before yesterday ... so he's got plans to move to the apartment over his restaurant on Saturday. I've offered to help... but don't know if he'll accept it. I called him to ask him to unplug the freezer ... the sale on Craigslist fell through, which is fine... Alliant Energy will pay $50 for old working freezers - so I've called them up. Only issue is they want it defrosted.

We ended up talking quite a bit... he's happy about how things are working out. Still thinks I'm trying to make everything more difficult for him, doesn't really understand that my heart is in the right place. I'm just giving him the push he needs to get on with starting to live his own life. I figure I'll get the "villian" label until he's got kids of his own and suddenly starts to get it. Mom still isn't talking to me, I haven't called her because I don't want to put her on the spot. She's not quite as mad as she was - but still thinks I'm going about this all wrong. My sister has been telling her my side of the story... enough that she's made "A" swear that he's not lying to her. Truth is he isn't exactly lying - he's just only telling her half of the story - avoiding the parts that would make him look bad and sticking to enough pieces of what I've said to make me look like an evil mother.

I think the latest was that since I didn't know how soon the cable would be off (remember, I told them to turn it off a full month ago), and "A" wouldn't tell me where he was planning on staying, I figured it would be best to forward all the mail to Des Moines to ensure that someone was at least getting the mail. So, of course, mom sent him some money... and was all upset with me again because I'd changed his email address. When I got it on Thursday afternoon - I called "A" up and said that I could bring it out with me when I came to Newton on the weekend, OR he could drive to Des Moines if he wanted it sooner. So what part did he tell mom? That I was making him drive to Des Moines to get it. Since he didn't end up doing so, I dropped it off at the house on Sunday... so my sister said she'd make sure she told mom that I did drop it off for him.

Geez... truth is he's playing a game, and I'm not playing it. I've given him his choices, and he's made his decisions and all I've done is NOT back down and "give" him reasons to avoid starting his life. If he doesn't like it, so be it... when he's older he'll figure it out. As for mom, if she can't see that I'm doing what I think is best for "A" and that it really is the right thing to do, well, then she'll just have to get over it in due time. I'm not going to let it get to me at all. I know that I'm doing the best thing I can do, based on how I know "A" will act if I did this any other way.

I guess I think the funniest thing about all of this is that mom thinks that it's horrible that I'm not helping "A" out... and yet every time I offer to help "A" he refuses my help.... How much do you want to bet that he's not letting mom know that part of the deal??? LOL!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Gotta Love Tiger Direct

I have been a huge fan of Tiger Direct for a while now. I've bought things from them over the years. I've seen other places to buy computer parts and accesories and have even shopped on eBay, etc... but never, ever have I ever had as much "joy" as I find shopping on Tiger Direct.

Easy to use, incredibly good service, customer reviews, great prices... I can go on and on.

Why am I posting this now? Yesterday I found out that I can't configure my laptop to work with my cable modem. So, I got online, found an inexpensive router, picked up some network cables, etc. It took less than five minutes to find the great deal of the day and know that it wasn't a lemon... I debated about paying extra for next day delivery as I knew it would come in handy today for work, but thought, naw, it's just not worth the extra $20. So - I paid for normal delivery.

They arrived today! yes, next day, by regular postal delivery. How awesome is that???

Working from home

Well, day two of working from home. "a" has a nasty virus and can't go to daycare. Good news is that he's pretty self-content to play with toys and watch movies. Bad news is that I thought I wouldn't need a home network and that I'd be able to switch the cable modem to my laptop. But I don't have the "authority" to configure the laptop with the settings needed so my cable modem will acknowledge it. So, I've ordered a router and will have the network set up in no time once I get it.

Tough working without email and internet access, but, amazingly, I still have a ton to keep me busy besides all the conference calls. Good thing I decided to go ahead and order a home phone line for local and conference calling... saving me a fortune in overage charges for my cell phone.

AND Thank God I work for a great company that is very family supportive!!!! unlike my previous employer who claimed they were and then were the opposite.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Am considering major change again

Hair anyway.

Either short again and/or auburn or red color...

what do you think?

OK - so Craigslist is cool - even in Iowa

I'd heard of craigslist before... and last time I checked it out, there wasn't anything much local... but I was looking for apartments/housing... and not much promotion around here means not many people know about it.

However, I've gotten a great deal lately on craigslist (or two) and am selling my freezer that I thought I'd have to just leave in Newton and give up on it.

First deal - underwear. Ok, not something that I would normally look for... however, "a" is thinking he might be interested in giving up diapers... and I know that there are going to be accidents probably and I know I won't have cheap laundry... so I want to "Stock" up in little kids underwear with figures that he won't want to get wet. And the cost at Walmart is about $6 for three. That's two bucks each. For spiderman, bugs, or sports.

Then I found a listing for Bob the Builder underwear - never worn. Bought, washed, and too small... so she was selling six for $5. She had others too... all the size that "a" wears. All brand new, washed, never worn. Hmmmm... I ended up getting $20 pairs for $15. I'm thrilled.

Second purchase might be the Watkins odor out product - cheaper than Febreze by tenfold... and better working. However, you need a watkins dealer to buy it. One was advertising on Craigslist and voila - he's ordering my odor out product!

And my freezer? Someone had an ad that they wanted to buy a small chest freezer cheap. Me, I got one I couldn't sell at the garage sale that I figured I'd just end up leaving as it wasn't worth the money to move and store it. Currently the price is $40 and I'm waiting to see if she wants a picture of it to make her final decision.

Oh, and two coupons sold on ebay for $3... not much money, I know, but basically free money for taking one minute to list the ads and one minute to write the address on an envelope and mail it. My cheap side is enjoying all this!

Two big MOMENTS for "a"

Yesterday for the first time EVER, my little man actually answered me when I asked him about his day. He told me that he played with blocks and cars. That he went outside and played with the ball... and that he didn't play with the other kids.

Always before if I asked him what he did or asked him if he did certain things during the day he'd just look at me like I wasn't saying anything at all.

I don't know if it's because we had the doctor clean the wax out of his ears and now he's starting to really get into the conversation or what - but it was a big milestone for me. I've been dying to "discuss" things with "a" for over a year now.

Second biggie? He's starting to stay in bed now when I put him down and he's asleep within about ten minutes. This is HUGE ... since we've moved he hadn't gotten to sleep until 10 pm even once. Now, it's a small complaint when I lay him down, but he lays down, snuggles up with the blankie... and then not another peep.

My little guy is starting to become a big boy.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Good "A" news

He's got a job... a good job. He started Saturday working as a dish washer at a local "diner" and by Sunday he was asked if he wanted a promotion to learn how to cook. He said "YES". He's making $8/hr full-time which isn't a forever career, but it's darn good for straight out of high school and no training. No benefits, but at least he's making some money.

He's also found a possible apartment - the building the diner is in also has upper floor studio apartments that rent for $300/month... which he can afford if he's working full-time.

And for me? the best part is that they're insisting on sending him home with food... not just any food either. But beef and pork, vegetables and fruit... breads and potatoes. So he's going to be eating healthy - which is a big relief to me.

He's still at the house - as it still has free cable... and he's made a bit of a mess in a couple of places - so I've talked to him about how hard it's been for me to get it this clean - and that he really needs to contribute to cleaning up not messing up. He's thrilled about the job - and as such is motivated to pick up a bit... so we'll see how long that lasts.

I'm proud nonetheless... I knew he could get a job - and proving it to himself was probably the biggest challenge he faced... then to get offered a promotion within two days has him floating on air.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

When is too much info still ok?

When I first started searching guys backgrounds I was looking for the typical kind of stuff - 16 OWI's, a few child molestation charges, a rape case or two, or some old-fashioned wife beating reports. You know - to single out the 'bad' guys.

So, this last guy was boring, odd looking, and all that. I probably wouldn't go out with him a second time anyway. The only time we talked about anything I was interested in was when I was talking ... not a good sign. He's got two OWI's.... two isn't 16.

But why is it that if I were to really think about it, one would be ok, where two isn't? Is it wrong to think that it would be ok if he only had one? As in, anyone who ever drinks has the possibility of getting one as it's sometimes hard to tell ourselves we shouldn't drive if we're just had a couple of drinks? But, suddenly two is really bad. And why, why on earth would I think that two is worse when your 30 than when your 20. Is it that I truly expect a man at 30 to know more than one at 20... and to know to put his ego aside when it comes to "learning his lesson"??

I still don't think I want to go out with Dan... but I'm curious if having access to more information is just giving me more excuses not to go out with someone.

Oh well....
too be completely honest, instead of finding a new Mr M, I kinda want to find a new Jeromy!!!!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Boring - and now more info

Boring Dan-the-man had his SECOND OWI in 1994... which would have been when he was in his early 30's. Not good.

Lunch Date

Well, Dan the man was my date for lunch. He's a factory worker who is currenlty on disability while recovering from shoulder surgery. He sells car parts on ebay for extra money.

Nice enough guy, easy to talk to... a little dorky looking, a little bit of a paunch but not too bad - or too obvious... he might just be a bit of a mamma's boy. I'm trying very hard to look past that not so great first impression. But IT'S HARD. My gut is usually right on target when it comes to men.

Part of me feels like it's been a long time since I've had a great date - but in reality it was only this past summer. To bad Mr M didn't like Des Moines!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Found cute "a" pics

From last winter - hidden away in the wrong folder... messy, don't have a clue where we were... but he was having fun!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Correction from "A"

He called today wanting the copy of the legal document that changed his name so that he can cash in his Savings Bonds from his grandma (her idea, and I figure it's his money to spend as he pleases).

He wanted to know if he could buy the car from me by making payments. I said that the bank isn't going to accept that... that if I have to take my title off of the car - I have to pay off the remainder of the bank loan. He corrected me... apparently when he said "I had to take my name off of the car" he meant "I couldn't still insure it for me when he's insuring it for himself". Well, ok... that's easy to do. All I have to do is call my insurance provider and remove the Saturn... as long as I have proof of insurance for the bank, it doesn't matter who pays for it. That works...

Before we quite got to that point, he offered to take over the payments at the bank. After we realized that I don't actually have to sell it I did tell him that I was going to take him up on the offer to take over the payments. (After all, he was supposed to do that over a year ago.)

Friday, August 11, 2006

"A" trying to get Grandma's sympathy

My sister called this morning.... mom's upset with me again (still). "A" called her last night and told her that I'm not letting him have the car - sob!

Here's what really happened.

When I refused to pay for his SR-22 insurance, he called the insurance company. They quoted him a price, and then said that they would NOT insure him to drive the Saturn if my name was still on the title.

When he emailed me this information, I replied "so, does this mean you want to buy the car from me?".

Basically, I can't take my name off the title while I still carry the car loan in my name and making the payments... now can I? And I certainly can't afford to pay off the car loan right now.

I don't really understand if he's paying for the insurance why my name can't stay on the title... but it's the insurance company's call, not mine.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


So, you think it was ironic that I posted that I'm 60% cynical right beside a post about paranormal activies....

But what you don't get is that I am very cynical... and always want to know they why... the where... show me the proof type of thing.

But, even I can't deny what I've seen with my own eyes. Seeing is believing. And I am the first to put valid explanations to "weird" things until there just aren't any good explanations.

It's not that I'm trying to convince you that the paranormal exists... so much as stating that I can't find any other "RATIONAL" explanation.

Interesting experience about trusting your source

I have spent many times reminding people (like "A" and my former college students) not to trust everything they read - especially on the internet. That you have to take all information with a grain of salt and to look at the source's reasons for presenting the information.

I've been struggling a bit with the whole "aspirin a day" therapy I'm on... not that it's causing health problems. But because (even though I'm now mobile) I'm still not "well". I still have chest, leg and arm pain every single day. I still have dizzy spells. I'm still tired constantly and generally have this feeling of "something wrong". I try to ignore it, but it's just THERE.

I am on a list group that has several members who have been diagnosed with a similar type of condition for being likely to clot... several of whom have also survived strokes and PE's. On the web site is a list of FAQ's from a doctor whose advice so far has rang very true from all my various research. On there there's a piece where he states that Aspirin does nothing to prevent clotting in the veins... it works great in the arteries... but doesn't help with DVT or PE's. He doesn't quote any studies or anything. I've also seen several people post that aspririn is ineffective. It's good for stroke prevention - but then again... a lot of people who get strokes are getting them because of clogged arteries - which I don't have...

Now, you would think that blood is blood and whether it's in the arteries or veins, if aspirin helps make it "flow better" it should work on both sides of the heart.

While I took this information in and took it for granted that they must be right... I was concerned as to why the doctor's are assuming it's the "best" course of action.

To be honest, from the feedback from my last trip to UofI H&C... it's not that it's the best course of action, so much as a safer course of action than coumadin. Coumadin carries a high risk of creating too much flow and not enough clotting... and you have a high chance of dying from bleeding to death while on it. How high? about three times higher than being hit by a bus. Which isn't astronomically high - but high enough to think - if there's a safer alternative - then that's a reasonable thing to consider.

Something to consider is that it seems that very few doctor's truly understand clots. I've been told things from being too young to have one, to being told that it's so rare to have certain kinds that it's not needed to test for that (with the assumption buried in there that rare means never... hmmm).

So, today, with a bit of time on my hands... I dug into several web sites that carry a lot of medical studies. I found a few (very few) that state that aspirin can actually help... a few stating it doesn't help at all... and a ton that state that they really can't tell if it helps at all.... so who to trust?

Personally.... I trust the Dr. whose laying his reputation on the line and supporting the FAQ list - why? He knows more than a lot of my local doctors... and 2.... it's that old story....

A guy tries to sell his friend an object "guaranteed to prevent" elephants... how do you know? "look around, see any elephants?" Just because someone is taking aspirin and Doesn't have a clot it doesn't mean that it's the aspirin preventing it. NO ONE KNOWS why some people clot and others don't... they haven't figured out that part of the puzzle yet.

Am I still taking my aspirin a day? Yes... why? when I'm convinced it's doing nothing? So that if things do worsen, no one can say I wasn't following the prescribed regimine and if it didn't work... then they'll be forced to try to figure out another way.

Where's Dr House when you need him?????

Lack of progress....

OK - free chocolate cake at a leaving do; free bagels from panera.... yummmy.

I am trying and failing pretty much every day so far this week - like 0% success at trying to start my new diet.

I am doing ok at adding the right things to my diet - it's removing all the yummy stuff from during the day that I'm failing miserably at.

And tomorrow? Stressful day - I've got an all-day working session that's going to be EXTREMELY stressful, plus a maybe date tomorrow night for dinner from a fellow on match.

Which usually means I'm diving for chocolate to get me through the stress. Fruit cups just aren't the same!

Ghostly activities

OK - Have to admit that there wasn't a lot of "activity" lately - probably as much due to lack of being there to witness anything as much as anything else.

However, there was an odd thing that happend right before moving to the apartment.

I went around to shut and lock all the windows and doors before going to bed as it was steamy humid and only going to get worse - so I took time to ensure all was shut up tightly before turning on the a/c and going to bed. "A" was at a friends house and "a" was out cold.

The next morning - the front door was open a crack - and the lock at the top of the door was unlatched - it's five feet high - and "a" couldn't reach it if he tried.

Also a window was open just about a half inch - right by the door. "a" doesn't know how to unlock the windows... so even if it was just him and I in the house - and I KNOW I locked it and he didn't unlock it.... who did?

How Cynical Are You?

You Are 60% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist.
You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Setting Goals to deal with recent expansion

  • Take back cans to store... TONIGHT - why? need cash as I have $5 on hand and $0 in bank account... and need to buy fruits and veggies and Beef or starve or not do the diet thing until payday.
  • Pick up scale (on payday, obviously)
  • Remember to pack healthy snacks and lunch EVERY day - starting tomorrow.
  • STOP attending retirement and going away parties for free cake!!!
  • STOP hovering around vending machines looking at what looks yummy!!!!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Latest artistic efforts

And believe it or not, the artist used mixed medium here... we have marjarine in great quantities.... plus a nice mixture of nails, screws, picture hangers and the miscellaneous bits and bobbles one would accidently leave out when hanging things up in a new apartment. I know, I know - it takes a discerning ey to find the fine craftsmenship... but it's there.

A few pleasant surprises this week

  • The building to the East of my workplace has finally finished their parking garage and the reason this is awesome, is that we now get to park in their old parking lots which are at least one if not two or three blocks closer to work (depending on how far out you had to park in the old lot). Even cooler yet, is that hundreds of people didn't figure this out at the beginning of the week - and kept parking in the old lot leaving AWESOMELY close places to park in the new lots.
  • Driving to work in a matter of 15 minutes or so (including stopping at the daycare)... is SOOOO nice, I can't even describe how much better I feel getting to work on time; and not being exhausted coming home in the evening.
  • Alex's old sitter insisted I had to pick him up at 5:00 - which meant I had to leave work at 4:00 every day.... the new sitter is ten minutes away, plus they're open until 6:00 - which means that I'm not having to work from home every day for an hour in the evening to make up for lost time at work.
  • PLUS - not having to work at home & knowing that if Alex is sick or something and the lap top being only 10 minutes away at the office means I no longer have to carry my laptop each and every day. My back is very thankful!!!
The only not so pleasant suprise.... missing my can opener because I forgot to pack it last weekend... maybe I need to cook more fresh foods????

Friday, August 04, 2006

Clothes getting too tight

Guess I really am doing much better health-wise... all that extra calories that used to just help me get through the day have now started to contribute to my waistline.

I had two clean pairs of jeans - first ones I couldn't wear as I couldn't fasten them... the pair I have on now, I had to lay down to fasten.

Starting this weekend I'm back on my Hunter/Gatherer Diet! (not today - need to load up on carbs while I still can - and the cupcakes in the vending machine are calling).

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Wierd Things About Me

1. I have a "shy bladder" - using a public restroom can be very difficult (although not impossible) for me. And having someone stand just outside the door - or a nurse wanting to know if "I'm ok" - just leave me alone already! I've found reading helps - and if all I have in my pocket to read is a coin - well then, I pull it out and start reading... lol!

2. I prefer to keep my toenails painted, but my finger nails plain - mainly because they don't chip as easy and need to be redone as often, but also because I'm idiotically concerned about ensuring that the colors match my outfit - and I can always put on shoes that don't show my toes if they don't.

3. It drives me nuts if my hands feel dry... have found an AWESOME new hand cream that I have purchased at Walmart and keep one in my purse, another at my desk, one by my bed, another in my kitchen and the last by my bathroom sink. Body Essence Cucumber Melon Antibacterial Moisturizing Hand Lotion

4. I can eat casseroles and other one-dish meals - but if it's a regular meal with a meat, a vegetable, and a potato - I usually eat only one of them at a time... and it bugs me if they touch each other on my plate... they need their own space. CANNOT handle having a open face roast beef sandwich with mashed potatoes and gravy.... all on top of each other? What are you all thinking??? Same thing with that new KFC meal - where they have mashed potatoes, chicken and corn and gravy all in a bowl? ew! - but give me a caserole with meat, potatoes & veggies... and that's fine - which is nuts, I know.

5. I miss Pepsi in glass bottles. I hated dealing with glass bottles (well, ok, broken glass bottles)... but it just doesn't taste the same in plastic or can. I know - Pepsi is Pepsi. But to this day, if I have a choice - I'd rather drink it in plastic over can... but only because you can't find it in glass bottles any more.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

On paying fines

"A" had three tickets - speeding, not stopping long enough at a stop sign, and driving after hours on a limited license.

For his graduation gift, I offered to pay off all his fines as he'd managed to let them go to court and they were ranking up there. I paid over $400 in traffic fines for him.

Now, apparently his license is available again to him, but he has to pay a $50 fine to reinstate his license as well as provide proof of SR-22 insurance. He called me to tell me this and asked when I would be paying it.

And then when I said I wasn't planning on it - he said I promised to pay his fines. OK - but a fine to reinstate his license wasn't an existing fine at the time. And, in fact, it can't be paid until after he complies with the SR-22 insurance. If I say yes, does that mean I pay all fines in perpetuity? I told him it was his fine & his responsibility.

He asked me if I was saying no because I was mad. I said no - I don't have the money and besides, it's still his responsibility. I know darn well that if I had any fines my mother would NEVER have offered to pay them for me. But, it was the only thing he wanted for a graduation gift. So, so be it.

This has got to get easier.

What I've been obsessed with in my life(timelined)

Toddlerhood (up til 5 years old) (or as much thereof that I can remember)

  • Calenders drawn in permanent ink on a stomach - when my dad went through 3 months of twice daily injections that all had to be in his stomach and not right next to each other day after day - they drew a calendar with the days scattered so they could keep track of where they should inject so that it was spaced out properly. Within a few hours of coming home from seeing his calendar - my favorite doll sported the exact same set up.
  • Swinging on swings - I don't remember liking slides or swimming, or anything - but I did LOVE to swing and would do it for hours on end.
  • Animals - all kinds, shapes and sizes - I have pictures of me as a toddler feeding lambs, brushing horses, watching our sea horses give birth to babies... puppies, kittens, geese, cows... all animals were my friends. And when it came time to name them? the cat was named cat - the dog was named dog - guess I wasn't very creative.
  • CANDY - and lots of it... my sweet tooth has been around a VERY long time.

Childhood (5-9)

  • Barbie Dolls and Hot wheels cars - don't ask me why they were both a big pull... they just were
  • NOT fixing dolls hair - I had a doll head on a stand that you were supposed to use to fix her hair and/or paint her face... yup mine looked like a dog had mauled it.
  • Tea Parties - where we had to point our pinkie fingers up in the air - and then say stupid stuff like "there's a fly" - "where" - "up there" with our pinkie extended and pointing at the ceiling as we sipped our tea.

Pre-teen (9-12)

  • Started reading romance novels and westerns... LOVED Louis LaMore(sp?) and read ALL his novels
  • Started reading encyclopedias - don't ask me why - I don't KNOW - probably bored to tears on the farm

Early Teens (13-16)

  • Shawn Cassidy ? ! ok, foolish daydreamy love
  • Pretending to be married to the boys at recess - we'd have mock weddings, with a minister and all

Late Teens (16-20)

  • EVERYTHING at school except the sports. I was in Honor Society, Speech, Band, Pep Club, Cheerleader, working with Special Ed students, teaching Sign Language, Annual staff, newspaper staff, plays - anything and everything to get out of my house
  • BOYS BOYS BOYS - Several very cute ones, a few not so cute... a few too old
  • Drugs I wasn't ABUSING- I was enhancing my perspective.
  • Alcohol When my perspective got a little TOO enhanced.
  • Marriage at 19 - not too smart.... but it did change my perspective and drugs and alcohol were really not needed anymore.

Early 20's

  • College, work, baby, divorce. I worked 1 full time job, 1 part time job and went to school full time supporting my bum of an ex-husband... graduated from college one month before "A" was born - and filed a divorce a few weeks later. A couple of years late... but all in all, the best decision I ever made. Then it was back to work as a single mom supporting baby & me.

Late 20's - Early 30's - Late 30's

  • More of the same? Work - "A" and then "a"... some men along the way, some better than others. A few hobbies here and there - but who has time for obsessions any more?

Oh - and IKEA glasses :-(

The first box that "A" packed was fine - the second box... more than a dozen broken glasses... think he was mad at me too?

Doing the right thing - even when it's hard

OK - this past weekend I was pretty upset with "A" for messing around and not helping. He did help us load up the truck and trailer on Saturday (well, he helped a little bit, once his friends showed up, he kind of just watched). Then Stefanie & I decided to outsmart them when it came time to unload... she stood by the truck to keep them moving; I stayed in the apartment to direct and keep them moving and unloading went very well.

But, I was still pretty upset that he called me a lying b*tch because he refuses to believe that I told him to pack his things two weeks ago. It was too hot and too miserable to argue. I told him that if it helped his conscience that much to call me that - that he could believe whatever he wants - but that I know the honest truth. And then I promptly told him that his attitude of not doing what he's told, not helping around the house with his chores, and being rude and inconsiderate - that he wasn't welcome to move to the apartment in Des Moines and that he better get a job and figure out where he's going to live. I get that all teenagers lie to their parents... I also get that avoiding work is normal for a teenager. But, he was disrespectful, he promised he would do things that I needed done and that I was counting on and then broke that promise... He called me names that were totally unnecessary. I just don't need all this stress.

I talked to mom on Sunday when I picked "a" up, and she asked me how "A" was doing. I told her he wasn't doing "ANYTHING" and that I was done asking him for help. I also said something about him not wanting to live with me bad enough to try to get along with me, but apparently I wasn't clear enough that I'd made up my mind to not let him move with me.

So, Tuesday afternoon comes along and I call her to tell her something I kept forgetting to tell her... and apparently she's talked to "A" in the mean time and he told her some twisted version of the truth. She told me that 1) I'm virtually putting the drugs into "A"s hands to turn him into a drug addict living on the street and 2) that I don't deserve his respect.

She threw into my face all the things that she did to help me when I was his age. I don't deny any of them. I did try to point out that I never once broke a promise to her, never once did I NOT do what I was asked to do around the house (I might have grumbled about it, and/or procastinated), but I always did as I was told. The lies I told her were things about Fred beating on me, drinking under age... but I never ONCE lied to her face to be disrespectful - even when it might have been easier if I had (say the morning she caught me with a boyfriend at the house in her bed).

She was so angry with me she couldn't even talk to me about it anymore. I cried for a long time - finally talked with Stefanie who helped remind me that I'm doing what I'm doing for the right reasons. "A" needs to grow up and as long as I enable him in avoiding it, the longer it's going to take. "A" and I do not have a healthy relationship right now - and we will both be better off without trying to "fit" our relationship into a small apartment. I deserve his respect and I deserve to be treated respectfully. If he can't do that - then as an adult, we both have to look at the hard facts that it's time for him to find his own place.

I'm sure hoping this is truly the right thing to do - I know that he's a smart, intelligent man who knows the difference between right and wrong - and that anything he sets his mind to he can achieve - he just needs to have the right motivation - and mooching off of mom and having an easy life just isn't the right motivation that he needs.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

First day at new job

Well, today was my first day at my new job - and other than the fact that "a" (easier than typing little A) and I slept in the apartment - it's not a whole lot different.

I'm doing the same tasks for the same people - no big sweat. Started digging through benefits manual which literally are 2" thick! Mostly to avoid work....

I'm getting stuff done though - which is awesome.

"a" loves the new daycare... although this morning when he found out he couldn't take his squirt gun into the daycare with him, he immediately demanded that we go to "Jeanne's house"!!! even though she won't allow squirt guns either.

"A" did get a call after all from Walgreens - don't know if his friends were pulling his leg about Walgreens finding something on his "crime" record or what - but he's got an interview today. He even called and asked where the iron was - it's at the apartment - but I told him to use the drier to get the wrinkles out... of course, if he'd take clothes out of the dryer right away there wouldn't be any - but who am I to keep talking to myself whent it's obvious that he doesn't listen?

"a" slept last night in the new bed (that was going to be "A"s) for about two hours - and then he had trouble finding me in the apartment last night. It was soooo cute -he was walking from room to room - "mommy, mommy, where u?"

I'm looking at finances and things are still tighter than tight right now - but my next payday should be a full paycheck from QCI & a four day paycheck from WFF... and then the following payday I should get a one day paycheck from QCI & a full paycheck from WFF - because of how they overlap - which should be for the best in getting me back on my feet.

Tonight we're off to Newton to see if "A" will help me move the tv's to the apartment... no I'm not into carrying two 26" tv's up a flight and a half of stairs... I'm pretty sure if I tried they'd end up in a glorious pile at the bottom of the flight of stairs.

Well, I'm off to pick up "a" and head out for the old house... it's been a pretty quiet week at work which is great of getting work done and getting home at a reasonable hour.