Friday, June 27, 2008

Tough day

Woke up to "A" wanting to know where my billfold was. It was missing is where it was. I was half convinced it had to be in the kitchen, it wasn't. And half convinced "A" had taken the almost 100 in cash and took the billfold to cover it up. I freaked out a little as I had just used it and was worried someone had my credit, debit cards and my checkbook.

I had taken the day off to take the cat to the vet (messy business) and to go to get ribs in CR at the BBQ rpound up. So even though I was running a little late for the vet, I decided to stop at the pharmacy (where I had last used my debit card) on the slim chance I had managed to leave it there. I hadn't.

So as I was racing back to the car to go to the vet (that I am now late for) and "a" decides to throw a tantrum. And run in front of a car. I pull knee muscles darting after him, of course as I'm not really supposed to run. I virtually drag him to the car chewing him out all the way. I was already stressed over the billfold, and then for him to do something so dangerous.

Son we are now in the car, and I'm still chewing him out, and what do I do? I back right into a car trying to drive through the lot. Ugh. No one was hurt, and although both vehicles were damaged, they are both driveable.

Vet bill - 200
Deductable for car insurance - 500
And if it weren't for the fact that "A" found my billfold in a drawer, that would have been another 100 down the drain

Good news is that the ribs were awesome as always, I got to see most af the family, "a" is now at dad's, I've had my ahot of whiskey that I've been promicing myself ever since the accident, and it's now the end of a very long day.
--------------------------
Sent using BlackBerry

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The "nail in the coffin" for dating Dan

Dan the guy I checked into; I was kind of wary of going out with him, but as Phil suggested, perhaps I could at least ask him about what up; what the "crime" had actually been.

I've decided not too? Why you ask? Because I found him online on okcupid.com... this is not the nail. And, as I did a little response to "how is my week going" email from him, I got lead to the screen that all emails sent get you to ... which is a "where to go next" kind of screen. And one of the things this site does is it does a TON of quizzes/questions/games that gives you something to do when you aren't emailing or chatting; and gives people a chance to ask you questions about yourself, your life, your beliefs, etc. AND on this little "where to go next" screen is a few profiles, profiles of other men that would meet your search criteria, but more specifically profiles of men that ANSWER QUESTIONS THE SAME as the person that you just emailed. So, similar personalities (supposedly). Guess who was at the top of the list??? GUESS??? The semi-insane, totally jerk-off of an ex-husband to a good friend of mine, Stephanie. This is the nail in the coffin.

If he has similar beliefs at all to Mikael? Then chances are no matter what I asked him about his past? I'd get fed a line of bull so long I could choke on it. NOT GOING THERE. NOPE. NOT INTERESTED ANY MORE. NOT EVEN A LITTLE. UGH! EW! No offense Stephanie, but I would NEVER date your ex or someone who is similar to him if I can avoid it!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

OK, now I'm pissed

"A" and I have been battling over "access" to my one and only debit card. I do know that when I was laid up it was much easier for him to just hang onto it so he would have it when he needs gas, when he was picking up my medicine and when he was getting groceries. But, now? I really need it. I can't tell you how many times I've had to go without lunch and breakfast because I didn't have any cash & because he had my debit card.

So, I've reclaimed it. It's my money and I need access to it. I told him that he should let me know when he needs money and I will do what I can.

So, now? I got some cash for some replacement furniture I'm buying on craig's list. AND I'M NOW MISSING A TWENTY. My purse is kept out of everyone's reach except his & mine. He stole cash from me - do you know how pissed I am? Seriously?

Monday, June 23, 2008

"A" not speaking to me

And it's all my fault; but I don't care! I gave away the tv that has been sitting in "a"s room for eight months without being plugged in a single time. It's not being used. He a) doesn't need it and b) didn't watch it when he had it in his apartment plugged in.

It was still wrong of me, and I would apologize if I could (will, when he gets over it). It was also very passive aggressive. My bad. I should have spoken to him clearly about it first. I've got too much stuff, he's got too much stuff. We're moving soon and I refuse to take it all with me.

He would have more say if he was actually doing a SINGLE thing right now to justify his existence. But, no, he is playing the 100% slacker role right now.

He goes to bed around 5:00 am (after playing online games all night)... wakes up around 5:00 pm and turns around and starts playing online games again.

He's not helping around the house, he's not doing any chores, and he's not actively looking for work.

We've talked until I was blue in the face, but he just doesn't care. I care, but I'm sick of trying to convince him to take matters into his own hands and do something for g*ds sake!

His trial is only in a few weeks. And, I think part of his funk is that he too is afraid he's going to jail and doesn't want to start something and then be stuck not being able to follow through. Me; I figure I'll wait it out. If he goes to jail, so be it; if he doesn't, then he s*cks it up and starts choosing to live his life instead of wasting it online and on my couch.

So, yes, I gave away his tv that he doesn't watch and doesn't use instead of storing it for another six months and moving it again. It's like 100 pounds for goodness sake. And if he had used it once in the past eight months? I would have never considered giving it away.

Flying & Menu Planning

Statuses:

Hit by an ATOMIC bomb
Hit by a bomb
Decluttered but not cleaned
Cleaned but not organized
Organized but not detailed
Detailed and on maintenance mode.

Priorities: If you have a room in blue, work on it first to bring it back to green. Then work on your red rooms and move down the list by colors.

Here is my list:

Master bathroom ~ Detailed and on maintenance mode
Master Bedroom ~
Hit by a bomb (smaller one)
Hallway ~ Detailed and on maintenance mode.
a's room ~ Hit by a bomb (mostly carpet spill related)
Kitchen ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.
Front Bath ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.
Office area ~
Hit by a bomb
Living Room ~
Hit by a bomb
Dining Room ~
Hit by a bomb
Front Door ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.

Good question from Phil, is a "bigger bomb" not an atomic bomb. I guess its all based on relativity. To me, an atomic bomb is a room you can barely walk through (and we've had these, remember). A regular bomb is one where there is plenty of walking space, but there are still tons of messes, little piles, etc. Someone else might call these atomic bombs. Not me, I need room for worse conditions. Purging has been a tremendous help in all of this. Less stuff is easier to keep clean!

Meal Planning

Monday - Mac & Cheese (for "a" and "A") and crackers and feta cheese (for me) - That's what I get for not planning!!!
Tuesday - Tuna & Noodles (home-made tuna helper) (that I didn't make last week)
Wednesday - McD's
Thursday - Farmer's Market
Friday - Sloppy Joes (that I didn't make last week)
Saturday - Spaghetti (that I STILL didn't make last week)
Sunday - Pork Chops

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Purging, Purging, Purging

I've gotten rid of at least 100 lbs of stuff I don't have to move! AND have at least that much if not more going out the door today! Woohoo!

It's funny, but it's almost like weight off of my shoulders? I keep reading other people stating the same thing on FlyLady testimonials. And I know I've felt it to a lesser degree in the past as I've made my flybaby attempts at trying to eliminate excess JUNK from my house. But now? Wow... I really want to post about another dozen items or so as I've worked through some of the other areas in my house. Just can't wait to get this into manageable size.

"A" woke up yesterday to me packing up some of the bar glasses (IKEA) - then when he realized I was giving them away - he was a little upset. I told him I kept the 'good' ones - the ones I use regularly and that I was only giving away the ones we'd never used. BUT, he wanted them for his non-existent apartment. Issue is (as I told him) that I don't want to move & store them. He can buy his own bar glasses.

What he doesn't know is that today I'm giving away the tv I had given to him. It was in the family room in Newton - and when he had his own apartment, I gave it to hi. Its been sitting in "a"s room for eight months now without ever having been plugged in. If he doesn't actually end up going to jail... he's going to have to come up with a better plan for obtaining independence than his current plan - or he's going to be out on his butt anyway. When the time comes that he actually does have a place to live, he can use the smaller tv that's been sitting in the garage for the last eight months. In the meantime? I'm sick of storing the big one and don't want to deal with it any more.

Seven Deadly Sins (from Phil & Dory)

Greed:Medium
 
Gluttony:Medium
 
Wrath:Very Low
 
Sloth:Low
 
Envy:Very Low
 
Lust:Low
 
Pride:Low
 


The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Rejecting the plea

"A" has decided to reject the plea bargain. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. In fact, today? I've been focusing on purging again. Hoping to get rid of all the excess "stuff" (some of which is either "A"s or that he would probably take if he had a place to live). I'm figuring that if he doesn't get convicted, he has a month to either solve his issues and get a job, or he's out anyway.

My lease ends at the end of July - so I am moving, and the less "stuff" I have, the better. I've posted three separate ads in Freecycle, and put up a couple of items for sale in Craig's List. Gotta love both of these sites!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Flying & Menu Planning

Statuses:

Hit by an ATOMIC bomb
Hit by a bomb
Decluttered but not cleaned
Cleaned but not organized
Organized but not detailed
Detailed and on maintenance mode.

Priorities: If you have a room in blue, work on it first to bring it back to green. Then work on your red rooms and move down the list by colors.

Here is my list:

Master bathroom ~ Detailed and on maintenance mode
Master Bedroom ~
Hit by a bomb (bigger one)
Hallway ~ Detailed and on maintenance mode.
a's room ~ Hit by a bomb (mostly carpet spill related)
Kitchen ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.
Front Bath ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.
Office area ~
Hit by a bomb
Living Room ~
Hit by a bomb
Dining Room ~
Hit by a bomb
Front Door ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.

Not too bad? Given I spent most of last week and part of this weekend in bed. I've got to pick up groceries tonight (and bathe the puppy); otherwise I would start working on the living room. a gets all the credit for his room; as he spent Tuesday night last week cleaning it from top to bottom. He did an AWESOME job and has been keeping it picked up.

Meal Planning

Monday - Polynesian Meatballs (that I didn't make last week)
Tuesday - Grilled Chicken & veggies
Wednesday - McD's
Thursday - Farmer's Market
Friday - Sloppy Joes
Saturday - Spaghetti (that I didn't make last week)
Sunday -Tuna & Noodles (home-made tuna helper)

News on "A"

OK, had another "meeting" today. They've changed the charges again. And now have a plea bargain.... Willful Injury (non-serious) which is a Class D felony with a maximum of five years in prison with another five years probation plus $750 fine; and trespassing with intent to injure as a serious misdemeanor with a maximum of 30 days plus $250 fine; plus medical expenses and any loss of wages; all to be followed by a anger management course.

I really, really don't want him convicted of a felony. And we said all along that if they dropped the charges to assault, that "A" would plead guilty. However (little did I know) that assault is the threat to do harm... so, technically in my humble (non-legal) not-to-be-held-against-him-in-a-court-of-law-opinion - he might be guilty of injury. Do I think he needs to be punished? Yes - Do I think he deserves five years in prison? No. It bothers me to no end, that people who are guilty of murder have been known to plead down to willful injury. Not that I want to minimize in ANY way the act nor the injury - I will say that he did not need stitches and did not miss any work... it was a fight. A fight over a girl. To me? This is a little overkill. If they had filed charges of assault as a misdemeanor, I would be FULLY in agreement with those charges and pushing "A" to plead guilty and do 30 days. But, that's not the offer.

Funny, I never did manage to get any policeman to let me press assault charges on my abusive ex, because the visual evidence of harm was so weak. Since when does assault not involve actual harm? Kind of bogus, I think.

Anyway, back to task. So, here's the rub. Based on the legal definition of the two crimes? I personally believe that the definition fits the act for willful injury. Trespassing being knocked down to a misdemeanor is actually a good thing, as honestly? He technically wasn't trespassing. So, if he doesn't plead guilty to the plea, I'm afraid the only benefit to going to court would be the dismissal of the trespassing charge - which is only 30 days and NOT a felony. I'm afraid he would still be convicted of the felony.

I'm fully aware that there is the possibility he might get off on all charges. But, the likelihood of that happening, is next to null now that they've changed their charges. Based on the new charges? The likelihood of getting convicted of the felony? Pretty high. He did go in there, start throwing punches and did cause harm. D*mn. There's not a thing I can do. Nothing.

Its up to him if he takes the plea bargain. I'm not sure really what it's gaining him other than avoiding trial except the fact that the original charges (of up to 20 years) don't fit the "event" as much as these do. Given my limited experience with the justice system in the county of the event, I'm concerned that they have a tendency to convict even with "shadow of doubt". This just s*cks. But, he got himself into it, it's up to him to own up to it and figure out what he's going to do about it. I'm not going to step in and "fix" it for him (even if I could). Though I do wish I could at least lesson it... but that too is out of my hands.

Dating again

Its been forever. And I've just started thinking about dating again.

I met someone nice... ok. Not the man of my dreams. We went to a movie, it was nice. We kissed, it was ok. I'm not overly impressed... but then again, he's a nice guy. I've snagged his photo from online.

Sad thing is that the pic? it's a bad pic? But, honestly? This is what he really looks like. Again, not the man of my dreams.

Seriously? What's with the hair standing straight up on end?

Edited: 0h, and? Researching? Found out he's been convicted of theft in the past five years and illegal representation of having a degree... (what is this?!). Lots of parking tickets and speeding tickets (but I've got too many of the latter myself). But theft? And lying about a degree? to what end? I'm thinking we won't be seeing him again.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Talked to Betty

She, Darrin & Family are fine. The family is at a hotel, Darrin is working from a friends' home trying to follow disaster recovery plans. Guess Betty's brother got flooded out as well. She hasn't had a chance to see their house yet. They have to be escorted and they are doing safety checks; taking bulldozers to the streets to clear debris so that people can get in. She's pretty sure the house is probably a complete loss, but hoping that the valuables they moved to the second story were safe. It's just something else. Quite devastating.

Me, I'm being all selfish and so concerned that the BBQ roundup has to be rescheduled. Isn't that terrible? But, there's only so much I can do to help. I'm donating to United Way again, like I did with Katrina. I know there are a lot of people comparing the two events. Not sure that I can see it quite so easy to compare. I know the property damage is disastrous... but most everyone got out, very few were left in the flooded areas. Yes, some had to be rescued by boat... but it's not like people spent three days on rooftops waiting to get rescued. Good news is that they learned some things from Katrina - so one of the shelters is allowing people to bring their pets in. And the Kirkwood Community College has an animal husbandry program and took in all the animals from the animal shelter that got flooded and then opened its doors to anyone who had pets that needed a place. In fact, they're even going through the flooded areas to rescue pets now. That's a huge improvement, but I can't say that the loss of life is going to be anything like what they saw in Katrina. This is still sad... and worthy of more concern than when I get to have BBQ again (I know, it's bad)... but it's still not quite as bad as Katrina (thankfully!).

Area Flooding

Well, Des Moines didn't get off completely lucky. But, with a single levee break, it's MUCH better than it had been in 93. The levee that broke, they were worried about and had attempted a last-minute reinforcement for it... but it didn't work. There's only a couple of neighborhoods flooded, the water is fine and the flood waters are receding.

Cedar Rapids on the other hand, is about 100 times worse the wear for this flood than the 93 flood. Almost 25,000 people displaced (1/5th the population). Over 400 city blocks flooded. They've never seen anything like it. Seeing photos of the 5-in-1 380 bridge where the water is just below 380 is beyond comprehension - that bridge is like so high up in the air! I just can't even believe my eyes. Iowa City is now under siege, and hopefully, will have had enough warning that they can put up enough sandbags to try to keep the damage down -though honestly? Sandbags only work so far... and if they have the water Cedar Rapids is pushing down the Cedar River to them? They're in trouble.

My sister finally reached a couple of our brothers yesterday by phone. Everyone is fine except our step-father. He got hurt a couple of days ago, but seems to be ok now. Took another blow to the chest when he rolled with the riding lawn mower (more like a small tractor). I'm struggling because there is very little to no news about the smaller towns. Apparently the entire county is a no-go zone, they're asking everyone to stay off the roads and not drive to work. Don't know if it's because of flash flooding or what, but that's not a good sign. The small town I went to school in (population 300) is I've heard 75% under water. I can't even imagine. That never happened in 93 either. So, hopefully, once the water starts to recede, the news will start covering some of those other smaller towns to help fill in the void of information.

It's kind of funny, though. You know? Back in 93, there wasn't a lot of information available about the other affected areas in the flood. I knew downtown Des Moines had been hit, but beyond that? Not much information. And, in 93? I was ok with that. However, now? the internet has gotten us so used to being able to search for the information we want, we get to choose if we want to read articles, view slide shows of photos, or videos... And, as far as I can see? There aren't any news on Jones County, Olin, Hale, Oxford Junction, or any of the area towns. I found one article about the flooding in Anamosa - mostly about the fact that they were moving the inmates (which is fascinating, as the prison is high up on a hill). But, the void of information is a serious issue to me. I keep thinking that I just need to perform a slightly different search. The expectation is that the information is out there somewhere and I just need to work harder to find it, when in fact, the information is probably not out there. The journalists in the area are probably still taking film photos and not blogging. There's just NO news. It's driving me nuts. Even my sister is struggling with this new expectation that news should be available. She called the television stations in the area (I don't think she's ever done that before). She asked them to take their helicopters out to document the small towns also impacted by the flooding. Funny! but sad!

Back in 93, I wouldn't have had the expectations I have now - isn't that odd? It's funny how the internet changes us and we don't even notice.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Photo meme

the rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into a mosaic maker.



the questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

photo credits
1. A Penélope Charmosa está para adoção. Quem se habilita???, 2. Strategy of chaos, 3. Life Itself, 4. Beautiful old lady from Darap(Sikkim) village, 5. eye candy!, 6. Red boat - Venice, 7. thirsty?, 8. George Clooney wishes he was this cute!, 9. wham:a different corner, 10. Olin-Turville Trees, 11. beach workout, 12. Penny-Wise

answers?
Penny
summer roles
Olin
blue
George Clooney
Pepsi
Venice
chocolate
old
life itself
chaos
pennyia (though it couldn't find any... so changed it to penny ia)

Open Invitation to the House Fairy

"a" has cleaned his room and would really like you to stop by and check it out. AND he has a very specific request.

He would like a bakagon (sp?) toy

it comes with a card

when you put the toy on the card

it comes to life

It's green

it has wings and eyes

That's all I know about it (beyond watching the tv show with "a" this weekend).

Hope you can find one. Hope it really doesn't come to life when it's on the card.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Calling Dr House!

As my friends and I have frequently stated - I need to go see Dr. House. I'm fascinated by that show... mostly because I'm having so much trouble getting good diagnosis and resolution to my health issues. People in similar boats also find that show fascinating. What I find TRULY interesting is that I have been diagnosed with some of the conditions that are almost always discussed as either a possible diagnosis or the end-run diagnosis that shows up episode after episode. Between blood clots, stroke and pulmonary embolism (a clot that breaks off and goes to the lungs... and even PFO (a hole in the heart that allows a clot to pass through the heart). I hear these terms on that show all the time.

I did hear at one time (maybe tv channel?) that the character is based on a real-life former doctor in Africa who is no longer allowed to practice medicine (unlike the current character)... he works as a janitor at the hospital and when the doctors cannot get a diagnosis - they go to him and he works through the diagnosis - they work through the tests and treatments... very much like the current character.

So, how do we find the other Dr Houses of the world? Where are good diagnaticians and why can't we just google them to find the ones in the US?

Monday, June 09, 2008

More tests

Obeyed the doctors. They wanted me to follow up with my doctor if I was still having issues. I did.

He ordered more tests. First tests - ok, nothing found. More tests to come tomorrow or later in the week. The odds that they'll find something? .001% Cost ? Several hundred dollars. The point? Proving that they can't find something. If they can't find anything, we continue treatment as currently planned. If they can find something, we continue treatment as currently planned.

Problem is that they hardly ever find anything. It seems like such a waste of time. I've upped my dosage ever-so-slightly of my meds... and so far, not very good sign... it seems like its getting ever-so-slightly worse. It'll be a couple of days before it's worth testing. So, we wait and see. I can only hope that it does help - as they really don't have any other plans or ideas on what to do besides this. Funny enough, it was my suggestion to do this... guess I'm glad I at least had this as an idea to try, otherwise, we probably wouldn't be doing anything. uggh...

I've got to try to remember doctors call it "practicing" medicine... which means they don't know what to do either - right?

Flying & Menu Planning

Statuses:

Hit by an ATOMIC bomb
Hit by a bomb
Decluttered but not cleaned
Cleaned but not organized
Organized but not detailed
Detailed and on maintenance mode.

Priorities: If you have a room in blue, work on it first to bring it back to green. Then work on your red rooms and move down the list by colors.

Here is my list:

Master bathroom ~ Detailed and on maintenance mode
Master Bedroom ~
Hit by a bomb (small one)
Hallway ~ Detailed and on maintenance mode.
a's room ~ Hit by an ATOMIC bomb
Kitchen ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.
Front Bath ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.
Office area ~
Hit by a bomb
Living Room ~
Hit by a bomb
Dining Room ~
Hit by a bomb
Front Door ~
Detailed and on maintenance mode.

Can't hardly believe it. My Bedroom became a disaster zone; the living room is another mess; and "a" trashed his room again. BUT I got the Kitchen into maintenance mode. NOT too darn bad considering I spent most of the week in bed and weekend in bed. I'm loving THAT!!! AND, I probably only spent half an hour on cleaning/housekeeping this weekend. So, even with health issues and a puppy; we are "keeping up". Now, to get turn "a"s room back to pink.

Meal Planning

We had Chicken, Goulash, and Chicken Tortilla Soup (did not make double of goulash... so am now regretting lack of leftovers for lunch). Did not do the Polynesian Meatballs. "A" keeps NOT buying them... I finally bought them myself last week - and "A" ate all of them before I could make the meal :-(


Monday - Mexican Lasagna
Tuesday - Bertelli tortellini & marinara
Wednesday - McD's
Thursday - Farmer's Market
Friday - Polynesian Meatballs
Saturday - frozen pizza
Sunday - Spaghetti

Saturday, June 07, 2008

On pain meds - it's all REALLY good

I've been struggling all week. Getting to work and through work has been a challenge. At home? I come home, walk the dog, feed the kids, lay down and take pain meds. Surface sometime in the morning and start over.

Last night? I don't remember anything past 8:00 (although "a" did end up going to bed at some point). Today? I woke up still feeling pretty pain-free (did I mention GOOD pain meds?). But, within an hour, some of it was wearing off. Took a pain med... I'm not driving anywhere, not having to work on anything other than housekeeping... it's all good. My whole body feels very relaxed and warm and kind of gel-like. I think I mentioned - these are good pain meds.

My kitchen is clean & decluttered. I've cleaned up a mess on the porch (see purging post). Rest of the house is kind of a complete disaster... but, I'm going to take a bit of a nap, watch a little tv... and then I'll spend some more time picking up later - as it's not so bad that we can't clean it all up if the three of us set a timer and do a five-minute room rescue on each room. And then I can take another pain killer & veg out again. See? It's all good - really good.

On purging -- It's all good.

I have been in PURGE mode for a couple of months now. Doing better some weeks than others. Today, I've hit a new "phase" and it's all good.

I was in the kitchen & looked at the top of my cabinets. There's a few crockpots - need those, but there's also several items that were put up there to "take up space". Things I didn't love, didn't need, didn't know where else to put them. These are all boxed up now and I have a post out on free cycle for someone to come get them. If not snapped up this weekend, I'm taking them to Goodwill on Monday.

I even went through my candles "closet". I pulled out about a dozen tapers that were all broken (when was I going to use them???). Threw a couple of cute/but I don't need candle holders into the misc. boxes. Threw several jar candles that were old/half-used/and kind of stinky into the trash. Organized the few remaining items... so that we're down to one shelf of candles/holders/etc. With one exception. My 20-inch one-quarter burnt 3-wick monster candle... I haven't quite convinced myself to toss. Burning candles with a toddler then a preschooler just doesn't work very well. It will probably, in fact, be a good couple of years before I get to burn a lot of candles again. And, this kind of candle? If you light it, you need to be ready to let it burn a good six to eight hours. That's just not going to happen again any time soon. But, it's so pretty, and it smells so good, and there's so much left to it. AND its a party-lite candle. So, it's going to burn-down right. As opposed to the cheapo version that I tossed before my last move because it wasn't burning down right and it was a waste of wax and space. So, not quite ready to part with this one yet.

I was out on the porch cleaning up a mess that I cannot blame anyone for (even though I want to). I had been buying "a" several items that although he plays with them... he's just not "into" them. Trains. His train table was moved to the garage in November, he hasn't asked about it nor wanted it since. His trains, however, were left in his room for the longest time. He does drag them out about once in a blue moon... and then leaves the mess out for the longest time. About a month ago, when I was purging his room of un-wanted and un-needed toys. I pulled them out. I boxed them up. My thought? Stick them in the garage. Won't these make the most awesome toys at "grandma's house" (I know, I'm not a grandma and in no hurry to become a grandma); but they just seem like great, timeless toys that would bring pleasure for "generations to come". In fact, I bought a 3-story garage for cars to add to this set for Christmas this year (and it wasn't cheap). (He's played with it twice). THEN it sat. I wanted "A" to take it to the garage (this was while stairs & carrying things were not something one can do easily yet). He didn't. "a" drug them all out again... add puppy & this could not stand. I boxed them all up... again. "A" did not take them to the garage... again. Puppy came home and toys must be moved. I put them on the balcony with strict orders to "A" to relocate them to garage "before it rains". Several storms later... I go out on the balcony to try to reclaim them. They are under the bird feeders. Can you imagine the mess? Not "throw them away" mess. But, mess none-the-less. "a" had taken several out to play with. Seeds & seed shells were littered all over them. Some of them took some rain damage. Dry now, but discolored. Some of them took some paint issues with sun/rain/etc. I removed all loose paint, but they could use some sanding. One of them had been found by the puppy. Not good... probably needs to be sanded seriously & repainted. What to do? I cleaned them up and spent a good 30 minutes debating in my head the insanity of hanging onto these toys that are rarely played with. The insanity of storing toys for grandchildren I don't have with toys they probably won't even like any better than "a" likes them now. I've listed them on craigslist. If they were "thomas" trains I would have offered them to Liam's mommy first. But, they're the plain-jane no-name ones (Liam LOVES all things thomas). Too be truly honest - he loves all things trains. However, his mom is trying to keep the house clean and pared-down while their house is listed for sale. AND if they were Thomas, she might have been swayed to go ahead and take them in or stored them for post-house sale. But, given they were non-Thomas, I figured I wouldn't even bother tempting her when she doesn't want to make room for them either.

Purging. I must do more purging before moving this summer! It does feel good. And? I am SO not into buying things now. Last thing we need is more "stuff". It's all good!

Friday, June 06, 2008

Still feeling crappy

Sorry - INR is the blood test results that tells me if the medicine I'm taking is in the right range... unfortunately, too little medicine (too low my INR) and I can clot again and possibly die. Too much medicine (too high my INR) and I can spontaneously have internal bleeding and die. AND to top it all off, everything you eat, every pill you take, the amount of stress in your life, sleep, exercise... absolutely everything and anything can affect your INR... so it has to be monitored constantly.

I was hoping that it was low, which would mean I just up my medicine intake and I feel better. It isn't very low. It's kind-of, sort-of, sort-a lower than it could be... so I'm going to take an itsy-bitsy bit more medicine every other day to see if I can just nudge it ever-so-slightly higher to see if it helps.

And I go back next week to get tested again to see if it is too high and I need to back off.

I've got an appointment with my Internist... to see what he thinks. But honestly? We've had three serious storms in this past week, with more on the way. Could it be that? I'm just sick of dealing with it.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Going thru this again

I'm still in pain, although it is less severe than it was even yesterday. Last night we had a big storm roll through. I'm half-stuck between hating the fact that I have pain before storms (makes me feel old); and also hating the fact that since only the knee pain disappeared, that most of this pain is not related to the weather.

I am tied up in meetings the rest of the day today and all day tomorrow, so I won't be able to go to my doctor until next week. As it is, they couldn't find anything earlier this week in all my tests, then add a few days out (since I feel a little better every day I'm assuming that will continue)... And I struggle with "what's the point?"

If it isn't my heart nor my lungs, I think I will live.
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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Now my news

Big storm came rolling through town on Monday night/early Tuesday Morning. I was pretty sure we were in for a big storm come Monday morning - and had to validate it based on checking the forecast.

When I woke up, the right-side of my face felt numb. More so than usual. Lasted about ten minutes.

I had another episode of facial numbness later that morning that went along with a little bit of balance issues - basically the right-side of my face went numb about the same time I couldn't walk - but I was standing next to the wall (as I was opening the door to take the dog for a walk) and managed to bang up the left side of my face as I fell into the wall.

Accompanying these symptoms... my left leg (the bad one) was swollen and painful from mid-thigh, through the knee, calf, top of foot and ankle. Totally blame this on the heavy storm rolling through, have already had one false alarm trip to ER to check it out for clotting on a previous bad storm. And in fact, post-storm, feel better, not back to the 98% I was before Monday, but close.

Only, those weren't my only symptoms. I also had severe left-shoulder pain that was radiating down my arm. I went to work hoping it would "work itself out"... by noon, it was so bad, I could barely stand to sit at my computer with my left arm against my side.

So - another false-alarm trip to ER. This time I didn't even get a doctor... but I got an EKG, heart is fine; I got an x-ray; arm & shoulder are fine; I got a ct scan; my lungs are fine. Ran some blood tests, have no clue what they all came out as, but they are fine as far as I know. I don't know more because they gave me a shot that made me all warm and fuzzy and I mostly slept from then on. So, I really wasn't much "into" delving deeper into much of anything.

Tuesday I woke up with similar symptoms but much LESS pain. Much more tolerable. BUT, as of today, Wednesday, I'm still having episodes of numbness & dizziness... and I do NOT want an MRI as they always come back negative EVEN when I had a stroke.

So, plan today is before my physical therapy go get my INR taken... then call the nurse and discuss concerns (and talk her out of talking me into going back to the ER)... if my INR is low, then bringing it up may help my symptoms. If my INR is normal... then maybe there might be something else going on.

"A"s news first

He participated (well, watched and listened to) the depositions for his criminal case. Again, they dropped the assault charges (which he was willing to plead guilty to) and only a felony burglary charge remains.

EVERYONE including the police officer and the victim all stated that he did not enter the premises without permission. The victim could not remember calling "A" to invite him to come over that morning ... although "A" has testified that he received a phone call from him inviting him to come in. AND the good news is that the phone records indicate that there were actually 3 calls made to "A" from him that morning. Helps provide some "doubt" that maybe "A" is telling the truth.

Everything else from everyone's testimony validates that "A" is telling the truth about everything. Which is a big relief.

So now, we're at the point where there is another hearing on Monday the 16th to determine next steps. "A"s lawyer is hoping they'll drop all charges at this hearing... but who knows. I'm not sure that they can't drop the burglary charge and not ressurect the assault charge. But, if they do, and "A" pleads guilty, he might get time charged. Better yet, no felony is associated with that charge and that's been my primary concern.

So, we still get to "wait and see".