Or should I title this, stupid Penny tricks?
Last night, I was on my way to someone's house & had the directions written on a piece of paper sitting on the seat next to me -- you know? So, I could find the house?
But, of course, the air conditioner has died in the SUV, so I'm driving along doing about 45 when the paper whips out the window.
We're on a 5-lane street that is a main artery from downtown to the suburb where I work that gets a TON of traffic & it's all cruising along at minimum at 45 mph. No parking, no room to pull over... in fact, most of the time I drive a bit slower than everyone else as it's really a little TOO narrow for the five lanes.
So, no problem, I pull over on the next side street (still no parking, but also no traffic - so I pull against the curb & turn on my flashers). I walk back to the paper that's getting whipped up in various drafts from the passing traffic. I follow it up & back so that I'm as close as I can get to it, but there's no way this traffic is going to slow down if I were to try to get that paper. Finally there's a gap in the traffic, oh, about 30 yards, the paper is inches from the curb where I'm standing.
I try to reach for it while still standing from the curb. Only, I didn't think it out well enough... and my knee? SCREAMED out in pain & said "oh, no, you don't" - spasms & gave way. I started to fall into the street with traffic going along at break neck pace as it is, the nearest car now 20 yards away! So, trying to think quickly I fling my entire body to the right & spin (who knew?) and landed on my hands & knee (ish, its still in tremendous pain)... and then what idiotic thing do I try to do? I'm still trying to get this piece of paper before it gets flung off to who knows where & I have to wait another 20 minutes to get it. And again? My knee decides for me that this is a bad idea. So, I straighten my leg out (into the street, but only for a split second) and then do this 180 degree spin on my other knee; and grab the paper & do another 180 degree spin so I can fling myself back onto the ground and far away from the car that is now about three feet from me.
Woosh! STUPID! WTF was I thinking?
And then this morning? I got to thinking about it and can you imagine what I looked like to the drivers? Too funny! I know it would have cracked me up if I'd seen someone doing what I had done.