Thursday, December 11, 2008

And now theft

OK, so you'all know I've been struggling (at best) with my eldest. "A" has now beyond belief crossed another line. He knows he's crossed a line, so of course, is now on his best behavior. But, I've had it.

You'all have been listening to me complain. You'all have been telling me repeatedly I need to kick his butt out. And, I've been obstinate and stubborn and determined to do the best I can to get him back on his feet, back on the straight and narrow and then OUT of my house and back on his own (he's 20 for god's sake).

But, alas. It's obviously not working. He's burned me for the last time. He & you both know how financially in trouble I am. And he just scr*wed me. Again. And for the last time.

He knows he's in trouble. And, of course, now he decides to be on his best behavior and search diligently for a job. go figure.

Anyway, he took my debit card this weekend out of my purse and went and bought himself cigarettes, lunch & dinner. And then again on Wednesday - lunch & more money spent on something (not sure what).

What I do know is that there wasn't any money in the account (how he got the charges to go through is beyond me). So, not only did he spend about $30... but he spread it over a half-dozen separate charges. EACH of which is going to cost me about $35 in overdrafts.

I've been going along eating half a meal; eating crackers for breakfast; so that I DON'T overdraft. And he goes out and blows several hundred dollars - for a couple of meals of fast food and some cigarettes. GRRRR

So, I called the police station and reported the theft. I know beyond a doubt that when he finds out what is going on he is going to be so beyond angry, try to make me feel terrible, and possibly get violent. So, I haven't told him yet. I also know that if they prosecute, that since he's on parole for the felony, that he will probably end up serving the five years in prison for the crime. A bit overkill for a few hundred dollars stolen. HOWEVER, he stole several hundred dollars from me two weeks before Christmas. From the mother who has given him a place to live, fed him, clothed him and taken care of him for 20 years. I'm so beyond p*ssed.

I don't know if they will prosecute. He's had use of my debit card in the past (doesn't know the pin number); but has charged with it before. He doesn't need to sign the charge slip at the majority of the places where the charges were placed. However, the charges occurred in a town I haven't been to in weeks (on Sunday) and then (on Wednesday) at places I couldn't be at if I was at work (which I was). I haven't used the debit card in weeks (after all, there wasn't any money in the account).

He did return the card to me after I called him and chewed him out soundly. But, if I don't go through with this, he'll continue to treat me like a door mat. He'll continue to lie & steal.

If they refuse to prosecute on the grounds that he'd been given access to the account in the past; I'm going to call his probation officer. I'm going to tell her that she has to figure out another option with him and get him out of the house.


britchik96 said...

That is the right course of action. I can't believe it. That is beyond awful - and I'm glad you are still strong enough to know that it's over. Well done.

Texas Wanderer said...

I know what you are going through. My oldest daughter broke into my car and stole the debit card once. Unfortunately for her, after she called to lie to me about where she would stay that night, she accidently redialed so I could hear all that was being said in the car. When I realized what they had done, I called the cops, who used my directions to the dispatcher to actually catch them.

Then not long after she stole something else and I left her in there for a few days.

Luckily she never did it again and straightened up after a tough few years. So I can tell you this- no matter how bad it gets, don't give up. When you think you can't take anymore- don't give up. Sometimes it does mean tough love and letting them pay for their mistakes, but offer guidance and help when you can and never give up hope.