Wednesday, January 28, 2009

More Pressure from "A"

He's calling daily & "making conversation". Which should be a good thing. It should. But, he's calling to apply pressure to come home. I'm standing firm. He's getting resentful.

His bed got infected with bed bugs. I agree - totally disgusting and I'm very sorry he went through that. He thinks that because he only stole from me one time (which isn't true, it was twice), that I'm being unreasonable and just trying to teach him a lesson.

While I would LOVE it, absolutely LOVE it if he did learn a lesson from what he's going through... that isn't the point of me kicking him out of my home.

I kicked him out of my home because he was 20 and instead of going to get a job and support himself, he was stealing from me. I cannot afford to have him steal a dime at this point in my life (not that it's the key to why he's kicked out)... but I just can't. If he were to steal from me again (I know, I know... he's sworn he would never... but he swore the same oath the first time he stole from me... you know, the time he can't remember)... there's a possibility that "a" & I would be homeless. I cannot afford to take the chance. "a" deserves better. So do I.

"A" thinks it would do me good to live with bedbugs. I'm thinking "A" should not ask me my opinion NOR should he ask if he can come back to do laundry any time in the near future. I can pack his things and bring them to him - or he can do without. His choice. Just as living in the shelter is his choice. Just as stealing from me in the past was his choice. If he doesn't want to live in the shelter, it's up to him to figure out another alternative - other than calling me up.

It's tough... and I know it is. But, he made a lot of choices in his past that got him here. It's not up to me to "fix" his life and get him out of there - it's up to him. He doesn't seem to understand that.

He was supposed to start work this week. He didn't... I don't understand the why any more - something about the guy giving the job to someone else. Not sure I believe it... but do know that regardless, it's not my concern. I know enough to know that even though times are hard right now, there's help out there for those who seek it; and there are jobs for those who really, really want to work. He's still at the point where he doesn't "want to" look at certain jobs. He's living in a homeless shelter and still too proud to consider some options - seriously? I just don't get it. But - I don't have to. It's his life to live as he chooses and once he grows up enough to take accountability, he'll stop blaming me for all the issues.

1 comment:

britchik96 said...

Stand firm....and good on ya! He's clearly thinking you'll cave at this point. I guess what's going to happen next is that he's going to turn up on your doorstep - and it'll be too late to go to the shelter so you'll HAVE to take him in. Make sure tha tyou have a change of clothes and a friend to go stay with if you turn up and he's there....that way you don't have to walk past him.

He will learn...it's just taking time. You are right to stick up for yourself and for "a"....you deserve it. The tenacity you're showing about how you're trying to turn aroundyour financial situation is what he's supposed to do with his life. He will get there....just not necessarily this century!