Tuesday, December 21, 2010


So, I got talked to today. About my tone of voice. I do know that my tone of voice doesn't always reflect my opinion, intention nor frame of mind very accurately sometimes. I get asked why I'm so angry about something when I'm not at all angry. I might be passionate about what I'm speaking about, but not angry. But it's coming across as angry. I get that.

Today was a bit odd though.

I got talked to because someone other than my boss thought my tone was disrespectful. By my boss who did NOT think I was being disrespectful. Really? So, someone comes to you to ask why you let me be so disrespectful of you (all based on tone of voice); you disagree with them, but feel you need to discipline me because of it.

So, is she lying and she does think I'm being disrespectful; but doesn't want to state that? Or is she simply caving to other's opinions?

AND I'm getting talked to because someone doesn't like the tone of my voice. They didn't disagree with anything I said, they didn't think that the words I used were disrespectful, it was just the tone of voice.

I need a new career... or I need to just stop caring that I can't do a good job because of things that can be changed and should be changed, but won't be changed because people other than I don't care. If the process can't be improved, I get passionate - which projects in a way that others see as inappropriate.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


Wednesday night 3:30 am we were woken by every smoke alarm going off. 'A' had accidentally turned the wrong burner on the stovetop on (a mistake I've also made) then left the room. Compounded by alcohol-induced slow reaction time... and the apartment was filled with toxic (at least it smelled toxic) smoke because of the potholder that had melted to the burner. We were trmendously lucky that it was smoke and not a huge fire.

'A' has been told not to cook after a night at the bar; but this was to try to light his cigarette... even though he isn't supposed to smoke in the apartment either.

I am not angry, because it's a mistake that anyone can make and because there was no real damage done. But I've had a few nightmares since about how much worse it could have been. And worry that we might not be lucky if it were to happen again. To the point of trying to figure out if rental insurance covers temporary housing if your apartment becomes unlivable.

But there is very good news within this. 'A' is moving out the week after Christmas. He has a friend looking for a roommate. He'll have his own bedroom with a bed and everything. I had just talked to my sister recently about the fact that he was sleeping on the couch in the living room. She had great ideas. The issue was that it went against the grain for me because I am directly opposed to making my place more comfortable for him, withv the thought that privacy and everything else can be attained by making sure he gets his own place. The other (not as nice as it could be) trick was to make him pick up after himself and a little after 'a' as well as helping with dishes, laundry, all the grocery shopping ... and if he was home during a meal time - he was cooking. On top of that, if he really cleaned, not just the normal pick up stuff but thoroughly cleaned for more than an hour I would pay him house cleaning wages...

It may not all seem like a hospital way to treat your child, but being 22, in legal trouble, and getting free room and board to avoid having to really work for a living? Well, I think he got enough out of the deal that he could help me out some as well.

He still has a lot of growing up to do. But he bought a used car by himself, is fixing it up, he's now found a new place to live, ven though he's aware that doing so is going to cut into his money for drinking. (Not a bad thing in my mind).

Now, chances are he'll have no food money for the next six months or so. At this point he's hoping he can do my shopping for me and buy food for his apartment at the same time with my money. So I am trying to decide what other chore he can do in exchange.
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Sunday, December 05, 2010

busy weekend

Friday I left work a little early... drove over three hours. But got safely to my brothers house. They had about two inches of slick snow by the time I arrived. About fifteen minutes later a's dad got there to take him for the weekend. Amazing really since they had gotten over six inches.

Original plan was to take my brother's fish tank down and drive home another three hours yet that night. They talked me into spending the night instead. Probably for the best as the last twelve miles i'd driven had been quite slick. First snow storm of the winter and i am really missing my all wheel drive.

By morning they had gotten another inch... but once i had gotten to a paved road the drive home was a breeze.

So saturday started by taking the fish tank down... driving three hours, cleaning the tank up a bit Jprobably could have done more there), dropping off an eight inch algae eater who had out grown the tank at the fish store, ran and knit with my new knitting group, did some xmas shopping, ran home to finish setting up the fish tank. I am still exhausted come this morning.

I should be getting the house cleaned up for getting the tree out, but i am watching Harry Potter movies on t.v. and knitting instead. Have to run and pick up 'a' yet today. That'll be four more hours on the road (ugh).
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Can't forget to bake two dozen cookies for cub scouts today... no rest for the wicked.