Sunday, December 19, 2010


Wednesday night 3:30 am we were woken by every smoke alarm going off. 'A' had accidentally turned the wrong burner on the stovetop on (a mistake I've also made) then left the room. Compounded by alcohol-induced slow reaction time... and the apartment was filled with toxic (at least it smelled toxic) smoke because of the potholder that had melted to the burner. We were trmendously lucky that it was smoke and not a huge fire.

'A' has been told not to cook after a night at the bar; but this was to try to light his cigarette... even though he isn't supposed to smoke in the apartment either.

I am not angry, because it's a mistake that anyone can make and because there was no real damage done. But I've had a few nightmares since about how much worse it could have been. And worry that we might not be lucky if it were to happen again. To the point of trying to figure out if rental insurance covers temporary housing if your apartment becomes unlivable.

But there is very good news within this. 'A' is moving out the week after Christmas. He has a friend looking for a roommate. He'll have his own bedroom with a bed and everything. I had just talked to my sister recently about the fact that he was sleeping on the couch in the living room. She had great ideas. The issue was that it went against the grain for me because I am directly opposed to making my place more comfortable for him, withv the thought that privacy and everything else can be attained by making sure he gets his own place. The other (not as nice as it could be) trick was to make him pick up after himself and a little after 'a' as well as helping with dishes, laundry, all the grocery shopping ... and if he was home during a meal time - he was cooking. On top of that, if he really cleaned, not just the normal pick up stuff but thoroughly cleaned for more than an hour I would pay him house cleaning wages...

It may not all seem like a hospital way to treat your child, but being 22, in legal trouble, and getting free room and board to avoid having to really work for a living? Well, I think he got enough out of the deal that he could help me out some as well.

He still has a lot of growing up to do. But he bought a used car by himself, is fixing it up, he's now found a new place to live, ven though he's aware that doing so is going to cut into his money for drinking. (Not a bad thing in my mind).

Now, chances are he'll have no food money for the next six months or so. At this point he's hoping he can do my shopping for me and buy food for his apartment at the same time with my money. So I am trying to decide what other chore he can do in exchange.
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