Wednesday, May 16, 2012

B12 injections are Life Changing!

Seriously.

OMG.

You cannot believe how much better I have felt over the past two weeks.

I've gone from being afraid to hope for any improvement; to being moderately impressed; to being out-and-out dumfounded by how much this has helped me.

The bone-deep, exhaustion is completely gone.

I still get tired; but when I get tired - I rest and then - voila, I am no longer tired. OMG! I can take a shower without needing a nap afterwards!  I can go for a walk with the dog and I come back feeling refreshed instead of needing to lie down for a good 15 minutes afterwards!

But, now I'm scared. I'm scared to overdo things and end up where I started. I'm scared that if I try to do too much I won't feel well again and that the next shot won't fix it.

I have YEARS worth of housecleaning to catch up on. And I'm taking it slowly. On weeknights, I'm only doing about 10 - 20 minutes worth of 'catching up' on top of my normal level of effort (which was literally about 10 minutes a day). On weekends, I'm only doing about 30 minutes worth of 'catching up' on top of my normal level of effort each day (which was around 20 minutes to an hour a day). 

I've lived for the past six years with the knowledge that if I overdo things, that I won't be able to get my work done or I would be stuck in bed because I overdid things.

And I'm scared to death that if I overdo things now that I'll be stuck back in the disasterous situation I just pulled myself out of.

I figure I'll work my way up to my old ways slowly. Hopefully by the end of May I can double my effort on a daily basis. And maybe - by the end of June I can actually devote four or five hours each weekend to catching up?  I figure the house/apartment has been this much of a disaster for this long, taking my time and not risking overdoing things won't kill us. If I'm really better - then it will still get done.

And then - can you believe this? Maybe by August or September I can start thinking about working out at a gym again?!

I'm so excited, but so scared that it won't last.... that I feel almost 'stuck'. Hopefully by working through it gradually I can figure out what level of effort I can maintain and figure out what my new 'normal' is and lose some of that fear.

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