Thursday, April 25, 2013

A tatste of my own medicine?


I'm struggling with a chronic illness that hasn't been diagnosed after I've been ill for almost eight full years.  And no sign of that changing anytime soon.

I'm struggling as it is with getting treatment of any sort, let alone anything affective.

And I'm struggling with family members who don't take my health issues seriously or feel that I'm just becoming lazy.

And I HATE it.

And I think I've done it to my 9 yr old son.... sigh.

He's been 'not feeling right' for two months now.  He is complaining of the same kinds of symptoms to some degree that I have. I intentionally avoid dwelling on my health issues with him, but you can't hide the fact that you are basically bedridden outside of working hours from your immediately family members.

He knows about my health issues because he's very astute and I notice that if I'm talking with someone else within earshot - he absorbs everything.

At first, I thought he was just trying to get out of going to school - it wouldn't have been the first time he 'didn't feel well' because he wanted to avoid it.

Then I thought maybe he was seeking attention.

Then I thought he was just exagerating.

But, nine year old boys don't lay down in bed the minute they get home from school for any reason other than - they really don't feel well.

I am so scared that he's going to have something so similar to what I have and have to go through all of the misery I've gone through on my road to try to get to treatment.  In fact, I wanted it so badly, I've been trying to avoid admitting that it's possible that he really is sick.

At least I have new insight into some of the people in my family who like to downgrade my own health issues.

So, next step. It could be something really simple and related to a dozen easily treated conditions. I'm getting him to the doctor. I'm going to hope for the best that it's something easily diagnosed, treated and cured. And if not? Well, he'll still have a mother by his side who will do anything in her power to help him. He won't have to face this on his own.  I just hope that it doesn't have to come to this.

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