Monday, September 14, 2015

Three months in...

J & I are getting pretty serious.

He's there when I need him, be it busy weekend, or just spending a lazy afternoon just hanging out.

He broke down and admitted something he couldn't have told me before....

He knew by our second date that he wanted to marry him.

Good thing he's smart enough to know better than to tell me that then.

He's told me he wants to live together and that he wants to start shopping for rings... I'm ready for the first, not sure I'm ready for the second and told him so.

Right now he thinks I don't want the ring shopping to happen because it's only been three months. And that certainly is part of it.

But part of it is that I've been in remission from my health issues all summer... and he has seen me tired and needing more rest than some women my age and he's seen me pace myself... but he hasn't seen me out for the count. I know how hard it is for me to define and discuss my health issues and we've talked about it... but ...

I just think he needs to live through a flare up before we get married.

I don't think it'll be a problem. But I know that it will be a shock. And I just think it would only be fair to give him a chance to see it for himself before we make things official.

We've spent the night together at hotels... and when Alex is at his dad's I've spent the weekend at his house. This coming weekend we're thinking Alex will come along for one night just to try merging our families together for short term trials. I'm a little concerned that he still hasn't spent the night at my house, but I'm thinking it will probably be something we'll try to do shortly.

It's definitely going to be an adjustment. His house is almost always quiet and calm... my house tends to go from empty to chaos in no time at all.

We haven't talked yet about where we'll live. My thoughts are filled with what won't work, not with what do we do to make something work. So, the weekend trials are meant to help us both see what will work and what won't work and give us a chance to think about how to fix the issues. I honestly think that in the end we need a bigger house than either of us owns. But, buying a house together is NOT something I'm ready to leap into.

I'm hoping that since Alex has 8 months left at his current school that I can convince him into temporarily living with us until next summer and let his son live alone (he's 27 & between apartments) at his house. We can pop in for the weekends and help take care of household chores and duties that his son isn't keeping up on. Then next summer we can make new plans for the following school year. Maybe by then putting up two houses for sale and buying a house won't be as panic-inducing as it would be now.