Tuesday, July 26, 2016

But what a ring it is!

I didn't set out to find a good deal on my engagement & wedding rings.

I set out to find a ring that suited me.

I am NOT a fan of the current style of a large square or emerald cut diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds.

I like glitter and I like diamonds... but I'm an amethyst/ruby/sapphire girl at heart. I like COLOR.

And I like flow, curved metal, a flow or a swirl.


I asked my fiance (before he was my fiance) if we could pick out the rings together. So a couple of weeks after he asked and I accepted... we went to the first jewelry store.

I knew what I wanted wasn't necessarily going to be easy to find since it was bucking the current trends. And that, in fact, we might have to find someone to design the ring for me. At that thought, I was a little nervous about the cost of a custom designed ring. BUT... I also knew that my heart wasn't going to be happy 'settling'. I'd settled before on my ring; and gotten divorced twice. THAT was not something I was willing to repeat (either, in case you have doubts).


We walked into the store and when I asked if they had any thing that would have an amethyst and would work for an engagement ring, I got a 'look'... a 'huh'? why on earth? blank stare.  But she dutifully showed me the three amethyst rings that they had on the floor. Yep, nope... not what I was looking for.

Another woman working at the shop picked up on the discussion and saved the day. She got creative and suggested that we look at some pre-set wedding rings which don't have the center stone in them yet - with the idea that we can add an amethyst instead of adding a diamond to the center.

This was closer, but none of the rings they had quite suited the look I was hoping for. They were very rigid and geometric and none of the natural or organic flow to them. After showing me about four or five and asking the right kind of questions... she came back with another suggestion.

She asked the first saleswoman to go get the 'swirly one' out of the clearance cabinet.

Yep... that WAS THE ONE. It's got bling and swirl and organic structure... add a beautiful amethyst in the middle and I was SOLD. AND it was on clearance. AND there was a coordinating wedding band that matched PERFECTLY. And believe it or not, they were both in the size I needed.

My fiance took me to the side, asked me if I wanted to sleep on it. I was pretty sure he was worried I was getting swept away. But ... I looked at him and said I'd be happy to wait to make the purchase official... but I don't need to look at any other rings. We've found the ring that's JUST RIGHT FOR ME.

He couldn't picture the amethyst in the ring... the saleswoman held an amethyst earing near the setting, but he just couldn't see it as a final ring.

They gave us the price for the two rings, plus the cost of a lifetime warranty, plus the cost of adding the amethyst without the actual cost of the stone (to be determined once they found the right stone)... plus the cost of his own wedding band that we found about 15 minutes after we found my ring and while we were working on the paperwork for my rings. That number was about half of what he was thinking it would cost. And about $1k lower than I was thinking I would spend ... lol.

And then they called him and told him that the amethyst itself was $50. Yep ... $50. He was a little floored.

Like I said, I didn't go out seeking a frugal ring. I set out to find a ring that suited me.

I love the dark of the stone and the flare of the diamonds and how they set each other off from each other.

Monday, July 25, 2016

And then there's a ring

The last several months have been a flurry of activity.

J  spent two months hinting about proposing with me putting it off, saying I'm not ready yet. But, it's good he did... because by the time he did propose I'd had time to really think about my answer. I didn't even let him finish his question before I responded with a "yes, yes, Yes!!!".

I still have some nervousness about my health issues and dealing with remission. But, I can't imagine a single person in this world with more compassion and care of me - who could handle it as well as I expect him to. He's a care giver at heart. Examples:

His adult son needed to move home after his roommate and he ended up not being able to stay together as roommates. His response? Come home... you can stay as long as you need to.

He found an adorable cat to adopt... too sick to come home, he covered the medical costs, got him treated and dental work done and took him home as soon as he could. Seriously, he adopted an ill cat without thinking twice. (I thought I was the only one who did things like this).

A robin laid eggs in his climbing rose bush between the vines and the arbor just outside his kitchen window. The weight of the growing babies caused the nest to start to slide into an alarming slant. He spent two hours trying to bend wires and come up with a solution to support the nest until the babies could fly away to keep them from falling out and getting injured by the thorns or by the fall itself. (Together we saved the nest... the babies left the nest the following week - we're hoping due to a successful learning curve in flying).

Even my own 13 yr old - little a.... he's been thoughtful enough to think about things that concern him. His eyesight has gotten really bad and peripheral vision is almost non-existent. At 13, he's still sleeping with the lights on and I've tried to explain that between dealing with anxiety issues and vision issues, I've been trying to be patient and let him have the light he needs to get a good nights sleep right now and let time and hopefully improvements in anxiety take effect... because as much as I want the light bill to drop back to normal? right now it's little a's ability to sleep through the night matters more.  He took this information and processed it and gained insight into it above what I even understood. ... He told me that he spent a little time trying to put on little a's shoes and his eyes and think about what a semi-dark or darkened room might look like. If there were shadows but you couldn't see what was causing them, and turning your head made more of the room harder to see... well, of course having shadows would make you nervous. Add in anxiety where you tend to struggle and focus on the 'worry' about what it might be... add in vision issues that mean that unless you get out of bed and walk to within a foot of the shadow you still don't know what it is? Well, no wonder he's scared of sleeping in the dark. I would be too.

(melted my heart a bit on that one... I had never thought of it that way)

I've had time to really delve into my feelings... am I getting swept away by the romance of it all (well, ok, yes, maybe a little) ... but really - the reality is this. He's handsome & kind. He's considerate... he spends time thinking about ways to get me to smile, to lesson my stress, to get a laugh out of me. The chemistry is awesome. He even likes to cuddle (which really helps with the fact that I need to spend an above average amount of time resting and relaxing). (never met a man that could handle cuddling unless it was a means to an end). He's level-headed...  and set in trying to be a good man - to me, for me and with me.

My heart wanted to go to him before my brain was ready. I kept waiting for the 'truth' of his behavior to tell me he wasn't the man he said he was. We've been dating/engaged for 3 1/2 months now... and he hasn't lied once... he hasn't held things from me  (well, ok, he did wait to tell me he wanted to marry me... but that was pretty smart for him to get me well enough to know I wouldn't have been able to handle that after the second date). From the very beginning we have been very forthright and honest with each other. Which is very, very good because I'll be honest... so many men have lied, misled and/or cheated on me,... It's to the point where I don't really believe anything a man who wants to sleep with me says - UNTIL he proves he's telling the truth. Well, this one... he's proven himself over and over again. He's who he says he is (and he's adorable), he's attracted to me and willing to tell me so and call me beautiful on a daily basis. He's crushed if something happens to his cell phone and we can't text during the day or have our phone calls at night (he works nights, sleeps in the evenings - so other than texts/calls - we don't see each other much during the week).

He may not be perfect, but he's mine and I love him with all my heart. It took a good five months for the walls to come down enough for me to let him propose. But he was adamant and persistent and patient. He, too, still has a few walls we need to work on next (dealing with living with each other - as he hasn't moved in yet). I think I still have a few that aren't going to be visible until we run into them.

Now we just have to figure out how to get through a wedding, a move, a honeymoon all landing this fall... without going crazy or getting over stressed or over stepping budgets... ha! Can't wait to see how this is going to all work out.